"enchanted."

i missed out on watching enchanted in the movie theaters last year because everyone seemed to have watched it before i did. i bought the movie this past week and finally watched it and let me tell you...it really got to me. i love everything about the movie. before i go on...hopefully you've watched enchanted or otherwise you won't get a lot of the subtle cues to the movie.

one thing i took away from it was inspiration. for lack of a better description...i feel like i've lost the sense of romance in my life. that dreams do come true and happily ever after stuff. my life consists of spending time with family, hanging out with friends, working, volunteering at church, and nursing school. there's apparently no time or no room for romance. i'm maturing and taking on more responsibilites. i have to be more accountable for things and i have to be more serious especially with all the things i deal with now. this coming from a guy whose life has been inspired by romance...from someone who grew up listening to kost 103.5 (love songs on the kost represent) and watching disney movies and romantic comedies. who through a childhood of put-downs and emotional abuse still stayed positive and never gave up...still believed. with romance comes an overwhelming sense of optimism...believing so much in everything and i'm a testament to that.

you know...i used to live with the mentality that if i had no one to love, no one to be romantic towards and with...that i would put my ideas and abilities towards making my girl-friends' lives a little bit happier. all my romantic ideas would be spent on them without any attachements or hidden agendas. just a friend wanting to be a little nicer to another friend. after all, who woudn't want to feel special and appreciated? did it make me look like a flirt sometimes and have i led people on before? yes. i know it hurts and i realized that not everyone sees it the way i do. i only wanted to be open, friendly, and charitable. and so i changed...no more walks on the beach or fancy dinners. no more watching movies one-on-one or singing slowjams. and so...i changed that part of me. in time...a lot of things have changed about me. i'm not as extravagant as before and i don't go all out. i do my best to keep my idealistic tendencies on the down low. with everything that has happened in the past several months...i keep positive but afford little boldness, little wishful thinking. no more taking risks for uncertainty...only focusing on definites and risks on things that had definites attached to them. i've become a better person by changing certain things about me...and i've lost a huge sense of romanticism along the way.

life is no fairy tale...but dreams can still come true. we go through a great deal of suffering, grief, and challenges...and yet the hope of a happily ever after thrives. i've heard before that the epitome of romanticism is commitment. i really believe in that because when you're commited to something or someone...you're passionate. you're focused. you're inspired and captivated. you're inclined to invest and you're down for come what may. this is what i took away from enchanted. i'm encouraged to afford some boldness in my life, take big risks, and wish like no other. i'm not going to do things like before: i'm going to do better with the same perspective. i'm not going to be extravagant but i'm going all out and not holding anything back. simpicity is still key but i'll do things with my unique flare. i'll believe in maybes again and remember that being ideal doesn't mean you can't be real. after all...people say hope is lost but i find it everywhere i go. others think true love exists in dreams but i've seen it manifest itself in how people feel for another...friends or lovers or for God. being ideal is to be different...to aim for something good, something that's worthwhile. and yes...being ideal is to be romantic. and to be romantic is to be myself...and i forgot that. i don't have to give up romance in order to continue riding the waves of maturity, responsiblity, and change. it's all about holding on to what's good and balancing everything out.

and i'm sure if i do this right this time around...i will definitely live happily ever after.