"from nothing to something."

another friday night at home?
yessir...but don't count on it being a trend.

i can say so much right now about
what has happened recently in my life
but i'll make it simple...
if gossip girl has taught me anything
it would be this lesson:
sometimes things get in your path.
you can either smash right into them or you can adjust and move around
but you have to do one or the other
in order to move forward.

thinking ahead and thinking positive
are the first steps in the right direction.
i know my worth, my talent, and my potential...
i'm going to do better from here on out.

the rest of the year is going to be definitely interesting.

i don't quite know what's ahead of me...
but it anything that comes my way will
be another testament to la bella vita.

good night...this weekend is going to be very busy.
i'm going to need all the sleep i can get to be ready.

"relations."

i wish that kristen bell could narrate my life like she narrates gossip girl hahaha. i am definitely hooked. since yesterday...i've watched about 10 episodes out of 21. at the rate i'm going, i'll be caught up with the series just in time for tomorrow's new episode. yeah yeah...it's lame but i like the show so that's that. moving on to something more lifenewsworthy (i know it's a fake word)...i went to my nephew chris' birthday party at the civic center. i was happy to see my cousins who i haven't seen in so long. it was an interesting party because it was filled with a bunch of my nephew's friends...a high school scene in full effect which i'm no longer familiar with. guitar hero/rock band music played live by chris and his band, crazy games like fear factor, plenty of filipino food...not the usual family party but i enjoyed my time. afterwards...i went over to old town pasadena with dub just to walk around and get boba...his suggestion haha. it was super random and we only spent an hour or so there but i haven't chilled with dub like that for the longest time so it was time well spent. went to ra sushi and met up with jay for some late night feasting. ran into lynne and marcus...always a pleasure to see them and catch up. good ol' ra sushi...the unfortunate destination of scenesters and people wanting to be someplace further...say la or newport beach. shoot...i just wanted to end my night locally and on a smooth note. i went to my grandma's birthday lunch at red lobster today. once again...great to see some of my relatives since it's been awhile. lots of good food, especially two pounds of delicious snow crab. all in all...the weekend was well spent in the company of family and some cameo time with friends. until the next time...i'm off to watch more gossip girl, take care and much love!

"daybreak."

i haven't spent a friday night at home in awhile...so i suppose this is the night to change that. in fact, aside from going to costco and church, i spent most of the day at home which is something i don't often do and has been quite surprising for me. so what have i done with my time? donate clothes, reorganize items, clean my room, empty out a desk i'm giving away/demolishing (most likely...it's demolition time!), and throwing away bags full of things i don't use/need/want anymore. and when i wasn't working on that...i watched a whole lot of gossip girl, iron man, and wedding crashers which were all on youtube. viva la youtube!

and speaking of which...consider me addicted to gossip girl. i have something to look forward to on monday nights now beside football, heroes, and the occasional bowling session.

this has been an unexpectedly humbling and contemplative day for me. i've found, sorted out, and thrown away so many items in my room that have reminded me of many things in the past...accomplishments, failures, joys, and sufferings. it's been very helpful in maintaining and nurturing my focus on the present and future. we are here in the present because of what has happened in the past, and the future is what becomes of our present...and it's amazingly as simple as that and surprisingly forgettable when we get caught up. as today ends and another day begins, i've gain more perspective and more passion...which is why no matter what, tomorrow is a better day.

"background check."

went to the gym this morning...good idea indeed. i had lunch with mr. feeny at yard house. i can't complain about it: good food, good company, good conversation, good laughs...all of it free and in abundance. i found out that feeny is doing the online retreat with me as well. he decided to do it last night. i'm glad that i have someone there with me to share my thoughts and experiences during the next 34 weeks of this retreat. speaking of which...i started the retreat earlier this week on tuesday. it's already proven to be very revealing and profound as i take a introspective look into my life and the "photos" that capture the good and bad moments. i don't know what will happen with this retreat, but what i want to acheive is more discipline, self-control, and balance...all of which i struggle to maintain. life is definitely getting more...for lack of a better word...understatedly interesting.

commes de garcons have a guerrilla store in downtown los angeles...did not know about that. a guerilla store is like a pop-up store where a a fully functional store gets opened for a limited time (in this case, one year) and closes down only to appear once more somewhere else. while their clothes are great, i'm more interested about the colognes. i've heard great things about them and i want to check them out. yeah...that's so john lendl chuatuan, huh?

i remember way back before senior year of high school started i bought american apparel shirts...only to find out they didn't fit me well. years later...they do and i'm back in love haha.

if you want to watch made of honor...it's on youtube. go check it out before it eventually gets taken off for copyright purposes. and yes...it is the latest addition to my list of favorite romantic comedies. also, love me if you dare (french movie) is also on youtube. i've heard good things about it so look into that one as well...which i definitely will soon.

alright time to get back to business...good night!

"if at first you don't succeed..."

dust yourself off and try again.
aaliyah was right.

i never expected that i would have to retake a course during this nursing program...but that's exactly what happened. as much as i do not want to go through it again, i deserve this fate. after all...i spent the past six weeks without the focus, passion, and performance needed to make it through successfully. although i got my focus and passion back up to where it used to be and needs to be at the end, everything has to be considered and with that in mind...i can't continue on with my original class. however, i will be able to continue on with the next class taking neurosensory. i will have another chance to finish. it's terribly disheartening to know i've failed yet again. it's going to take more time and more effort to get my diploma and license now...but i can manage. all is not lost. in spite of such shameful and disappointing moments...i still have hope. i know i can succeed. i believe in my talent, my potential, my resolve. i know how to get back up and do the damn thing.

learning the hard way isn't the coolest way to go...but it sure is the best way in the end.

in the words of father mike...it's definitely time to get off my ass and buckle down.

"busybody."

9/9

got my car back from caliber collision...it looks better than ever. i missed my car after having to drive a lame rental car for the past week. downtown fullerton at night with arthur, tawny, sheila, phoebe, rydell, and so forth for angela's birthday. a good time for sure.
9/10

pineapple express with jen @ downtown brea. the movie was okay...at least it was better than tropic thunder. it was a very quiet and chill night, definitely what i needed to just put myself at ease and clear my mind.
9/11
car service in westco for my mom's benz...got a charger for a rental. such a big car and so much power. it was nice to get surprised looks from people on the road. caroused through ikea...getting some furniture and interior design ideas. crosstrainer meeting ---> good discussion and great adoration. much needed experience indeed. coconut bay afterwards. it's funny how it becomes a lounge @ night, complete with fog machine and bouncer. oh wait...that's more like a club haha. thai iced tea with free refills is a truly beautiful thing.
9/12
spent the day with my grandma running errands. ra sushi with matt, joyce, walter, liz, dennis, katrina, phoebe, kecee, denise, jill, and others for angela's birthday dinner. random encounters with gelo as well as jenny and her friend diana. the salmon carpacchio is on point. watched burn after reading with dennis, fred, tiff, matt, austin, sylvie, jay, and erin. danny and his girlfriend were also there...good to see him after so long. it was a random yet very hillarious movie. the coen brothers have done it again.
9/13
clinical makeup in redlands. it was a smooth shift...wasn't too busy but i learned much. lunch @ hello sushi with carol...newfound nurse friend. mr. shay is a great instructor...if only he wasn't just a part-time/weekend teacher. bj's in westco for michy's birthday with pat. it was nice to see her and all the familiar faces (merv, patty, vinny, tin, and so forth). good to meet new people (aj, greg, michelle, ralph, jill, john). chilled @ steven's house for his dad's birthday party. food was good...but the cake was better! God bless porto's.

the end.

please pray for my grandma. i found out she has an unidentifiable mass in her throat that can be cancerous. she means so much to me and my family so i hope you can keep her in your prayers.

thanks!

"falling up."

neuro final is done. i'm sure i did well enough to survive. now i can only hope for the best and that i passed. plenty of homework to do over the following days until renal begins on monday. clinical makeup on saturday in assistencia villa in loma linda. thank goodness it's closer than hemet or victorville.

in the words of tyga...i'm in love with a lifestyle i can't afford. the truth is hard to admit indeed. even before my time with starbucks ended i was having difficulty maintaining a good social life, complete with adventures and purchases. what i a fool i was to hold onto something that was slowly bringing me down...for with this lifestyle came the addiction to keep it up and keep it going at any cost, and i mean that both ways. i managed to learn my lesson and realize the truth before all hope was lost. now it's time to recover and live more simple.

i have to be more careful and thoughtful with my actions and choices. this is my life to live...but i share it with so many people, my family and my friends. what i do and say reflects upon my loved ones in some way. they have a right to be disrespected, insulted, and such if i make poor decisions and do unwise things because they have invested so much into me as i have into them. i don't need to uphold an image...but i do have honor and integrity to keep and maintain. i have done some imprudent things as of late and i do apologize for all wrong deeds...because while i never meant any negativity and i believe i was in the right context, i have to remember that this life of mine involves others...and those are people i truly and deeply love.

in batman begins...alfred repeatedly tells bruce wayne, "why do we fall? so we can learn to pick ourselves up." no matter how many times bruce failed and fell...alfred was there to help him and let him know what's up. here i am...already past the halfway mark of my nursing program and i haven't managed to instill the positive changes i wanted to make after remediating gastrointestinal. and yes...i let myself go and i fell again. however, there were people still around that care for me. though they have given me a hard time before and gave me a harder time now...they do it for my best interest. they do it so i can get up once again and be stronger. if i was to follow the movie...i can relate my situation to the point in the movie where alfred lifts bruce's spirits when wayne manor is in flames. so many things are going crazy for me right now...but i will make it through the fire. as batman saves the day...i will save myself and thrive.

it's been a very difficult and very revealing past couple of days for me.

i hope you can benefit from my thoughts and perspective and gain some insight...whether it is about my life or yours. as for me...i'm in need of a break. it's time to relax...peace!

"one more time."

the day before a final...of course i have to post an entry!

i got a early beginning to the fresh start i've been looking forward to after neuro when ms. dominguez took over the class today at clinicals. it was the change i needed heading into the finals. it was a busy day at the hospital but it was a good day...i had a great time taking care of my patients. with a new teacher, i felt better and did much better than with mrs. montes. she's still one of my favorite teachers and definitely has been a big help and inspiration to me...but i needed this change so i can continue to move along and grow. although ms. dominguez is different and new, i'm sure it's all going to work out for the better.

i feel ready to do this neurosensory final. it's the first final i've felt ready for in the longest time...and obviously it's a good feeling. i have a lot going on in my life right now but i need to ace this final and pass neuro if things are going to get any better.

one thing i forgot to mention in regards to the weekend...ray amador's birthday celebration! dromo one + norms = an awesome friday night to remember! shout out to martin aka. black flag hahahaha.

alright...more studying, more focusing. good night and please pray for me!

"living on a prayer."

for the record...the background of my blog is black not for style points but the fact that having a black background actually saves more energy than having a white background. case in point: blackle is more conserving than google (although blackle runs a google engine).

the annual harvest festival is in three weeks. no word on a trinity performance...hopefully we get to rock the stage yet again. i'm so amped for bingo...i need to search for my stamper. for the first time...i'll be running the 5k. i'm fully recovered from the human race and i'm excited to get back to running. need to return to training if i'm going to succeed at the harvest run. i've learned from mistakes during the human race and i will not repeat them. side stitches and sprained ankles are not cool...at all. and yes...i'm glad it's a 5k and not a 10k haha.

mike dub cut my hair last thursday. shortest it's ever been. i'm lovin' it...the low maintenance and simplicity of it. this was the first time i let him cut my hair...the first of many in the future for sure. shoot...whatever i can do to save money here and there.

one more day of clinical. one day left until the neurosensory final. i just want to get it over with and move on already. i know i've said it already but it needs to be repeated...this is the lowest point of the year for me...both is terms of 2008 and the school year. i've been exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally from going to hemet all the time and it's time for a change in both location and subject.

seriously...pray for me. things are only going to get rougher and tougher from here.

"expressive"

watched giacomo puccini's il trittico with jen last night at the la opera. stephanie invited me to the dress rehearsal last minute and i couldn't refuse her...especially when it's free! fyi: il trittico consists of three 1-act operas ---> il tabarro, suor angelica, and gianni schicchi. a definite pleasure was hearing and watching o mio babbino caro performed for the first time in person...one of my favorite arias for sure. got to see woody allen (he directed gianni schicchi). good seats once again...founders circle status. i found out that if i didn't have the hookup or operau membership, our seats would go for about $200 minimum...crazy! all in all...i had a great time with jen and i was glad to take her since she was an opera virgin and has been wanting to watch one. this is my 4th opera and i hope to make it to more this season. i'm looking forward to watching operas not by puccini!

i found out that my instructor, mrs. montes, will no longer be my professor after neurosensory ends. we're getting another one (for the hundredth time) and we're going to have to adjust again to a different teacher's processes and teaching style. i am very saddened by this news and i will miss her being my instructor. she was hard on me but i needed it and it has helped me learn more and work harder, especially after having lost focus recently. i can only hope the next instructor will be just as good or even better.

keri hilson "energy" ---> music video + song = muy caliente!

i'm also diggin' ne-yo "miss independent." unlike rachel...i am a fan of ne-yo and he never fails to deliver a song that moves the heart or inspires the body to groove.

whether or not you like skateboarding...watch the intro (and the rest of the film while you're at it) to lakai's "fully flared." it's available on youtube for your viewing pleasure.

if you're a person of faith...please pray for me as i finish neurosensory. this is seriously the hardest part of the school year for me and i need all the support i can muster up to finish well and strong to pass the class.

that's all for now. here's to the good life...and a good night!

"flow."

new york, i love you comes out february 13, 2009. it is made by the producers of paris, j'taime (a movie i insist you watch if you haven't done so yet) and features multiple directors like zach braff and brett ratner and an ensemble cast featuring orlando bloom, christina ricci, shia lebeouf, and natalie portman among many other notable actors and actresses. with or without a valentine...i now have something to do that weekend!

in the 7th grade, i did the alzheimer's association memory walk at the la zoo. with that in mind and upon getting a reminder of the event at the nike human race from the shirt of a participant...i am planning to do it once more! it's the one in balboa park, san diego on 10/25. obviously, this is all just an idea at the moment, but as time passes it will develop into action...an action i hope others will also be a part of! alzheimer's disease is a very serious condition and we need to support and fund for its continued and thriving research and care.

meanwhile in the present...my neurosensory class ends next tuesday, 9/9. it has been and will most likely be the hardest part of the program. i've experienced more fatigue, disappointment, failure, and trouble in neuro than any other class thus far. however...all the negativity has brought about a renewed focus and passion in me. i'm more determined than ever to finish strong and bright in the program and do likewise in neuro. these next couple of days will surely be a test to challenge what i want to achieve, but it shall be a test i will excel in.

on a random note...i can't get the pussycat dolls' "when i grow up" out of my mind ever since some celebrity trainer (i forgot his name) made all of us at the race warm up to it.

if you're bored and looking for some adventure...visit www.calactive.com and do something about it.

not to be biased or anything of the sort...but the rnc is boring. although there's a lot of good points being expressed and discussed, there's no excitement and there is an obvious lack of the passion the dnc had. to make things worse...joe lieberman is a traitor to democratic party. he's utterly lame and i hope an elephant squishes him for poetic justice haha.

this year's afi fest is running from october 30 to november 9. i've never had an interest to go before...but this is a season of change and new things so i want to try attending a day. this is an internationally renowned event and i just want to go for the sake of watching some new and good independent filims.

one of my favorite brands, acrylick clothing company, is finally opening their flagship store on 9/13 in downtown azuza...631 n. azuza avenue. i love this brand for their positive messages and creativity so make sure to drop by their store in the near future.

i could type so much more but there's school work to be done...to be continued later. peace!

"what doesn't kill me..."

only makes me stronger!

the human race was a great experience.

my kidneys were aching, my arches were on fire, and i sprained my ankle during the race. i was never out of breath but my heart was hurting in ways i've never experienced before. nevertheless, i felt astonishingly great. under much suffering, i felt such an immense thrill. running gave me something i never had and it was during the race that i realized it...the awesome accumulation of endurance, stamina, strength, perseverance, and emotion all in one moment. this was one of the most physically draining things i've ever done...and i would do it all again. i didn't do it under an hour like i wanted to...but i finished the race and i finished strong, sprained ankle and all!

i give much props everyone that ran and supported the un refugee fund, lance armstrong foundation, and the word wildlife fund.

kanye west performance with common...a definite highlight of the year apart from the race. the concert was the perfect compliment to the run and provided some much needed afterparty celebration. g.o.o.d. music in full effect indeed.

this whole experience was very personal. none of my loved ones, family or friends, did this race with me. they didn't share this moment...which is unusual in my life. this experience was entirely mine to live out, cherish, and remember. it was one of the most physical tests i've gone through and it is a testimony to what i'm all about. i am proud of what i've accomplished through this race and everything that came with it.

now...back to resting and relaxing. have a good labor day.