"enchanted."

i missed out on watching enchanted in the movie theaters last year because everyone seemed to have watched it before i did. i bought the movie this past week and finally watched it and let me tell you...it really got to me. i love everything about the movie. before i go on...hopefully you've watched enchanted or otherwise you won't get a lot of the subtle cues to the movie.

one thing i took away from it was inspiration. for lack of a better description...i feel like i've lost the sense of romance in my life. that dreams do come true and happily ever after stuff. my life consists of spending time with family, hanging out with friends, working, volunteering at church, and nursing school. there's apparently no time or no room for romance. i'm maturing and taking on more responsibilites. i have to be more accountable for things and i have to be more serious especially with all the things i deal with now. this coming from a guy whose life has been inspired by romance...from someone who grew up listening to kost 103.5 (love songs on the kost represent) and watching disney movies and romantic comedies. who through a childhood of put-downs and emotional abuse still stayed positive and never gave up...still believed. with romance comes an overwhelming sense of optimism...believing so much in everything and i'm a testament to that.

you know...i used to live with the mentality that if i had no one to love, no one to be romantic towards and with...that i would put my ideas and abilities towards making my girl-friends' lives a little bit happier. all my romantic ideas would be spent on them without any attachements or hidden agendas. just a friend wanting to be a little nicer to another friend. after all, who woudn't want to feel special and appreciated? did it make me look like a flirt sometimes and have i led people on before? yes. i know it hurts and i realized that not everyone sees it the way i do. i only wanted to be open, friendly, and charitable. and so i changed...no more walks on the beach or fancy dinners. no more watching movies one-on-one or singing slowjams. and so...i changed that part of me. in time...a lot of things have changed about me. i'm not as extravagant as before and i don't go all out. i do my best to keep my idealistic tendencies on the down low. with everything that has happened in the past several months...i keep positive but afford little boldness, little wishful thinking. no more taking risks for uncertainty...only focusing on definites and risks on things that had definites attached to them. i've become a better person by changing certain things about me...and i've lost a huge sense of romanticism along the way.

life is no fairy tale...but dreams can still come true. we go through a great deal of suffering, grief, and challenges...and yet the hope of a happily ever after thrives. i've heard before that the epitome of romanticism is commitment. i really believe in that because when you're commited to something or someone...you're passionate. you're focused. you're inspired and captivated. you're inclined to invest and you're down for come what may. this is what i took away from enchanted. i'm encouraged to afford some boldness in my life, take big risks, and wish like no other. i'm not going to do things like before: i'm going to do better with the same perspective. i'm not going to be extravagant but i'm going all out and not holding anything back. simpicity is still key but i'll do things with my unique flare. i'll believe in maybes again and remember that being ideal doesn't mean you can't be real. after all...people say hope is lost but i find it everywhere i go. others think true love exists in dreams but i've seen it manifest itself in how people feel for another...friends or lovers or for God. being ideal is to be different...to aim for something good, something that's worthwhile. and yes...being ideal is to be romantic. and to be romantic is to be myself...and i forgot that. i don't have to give up romance in order to continue riding the waves of maturity, responsiblity, and change. it's all about holding on to what's good and balancing everything out.

and i'm sure if i do this right this time around...i will definitely live happily ever after.

"paid tha cost to be tha boss."

yeah...that's the title of one of snoop dogg's albums, the one with "beautiful" if i'm not mistaken. anyways...i thought it was a good blog title. no...i'm not some sort of boss in the literal sense but today was the first official clinical day. we were at extended care hospital at riverside. after six weeks of paying our dues in the classroom...we got to take into the nursing environment. it was an overwhelmingly awesome experience. finally...my education and knowledge collides with the reality of the job. although we all looked awkward and nervous...we did very well and managed to do work ultimately. next day is going to be at linda valley so i'm excited to gain more experience and take one step closer to becoming a nurse.

speaking of which...it's weird how i started nursing school around the same time lent began...lent is all about preparing one's self and making sacrifices for the greater good and the greater love. a friend of mine recently asked me what i gave up and i could only disclose a few things. but what i shall express now is something i've never shared before...i made a huge sacrifice i never expected making: a chance at a relationship. not just any chance and not just any woman. an amazing chance....an amazing woman. last year and before recent happenings...i never thought i could seriously discover someone who could really be better than my ex in my mind. and then it happened...i was proven wrong. but alas...i promised myself that until i finished this nursing program (or was close to it)...i wouldn't be in a serious relationship. i thought that would be easy to do...but it was easier said than done obviously. i gave my chance up and i'll be real...my mind has been distraught about it for awhile. today...i found out that after a couple weeks since i made my choice she's dating someone. i took the news in stride at first but the more it settled in the sadder i became until i became this "only sad r&b songs on the ipod" wreck. yeah...i was emo so shoot me. wait...i think if i was really emo i would embrace that hahaha. seriously though...as lame as being emo is real emo kids need help. anyways...enough of the tangent. whether or not i made a mistake or not in certain aspects...i did the right thing for myself...and the right thing never fails to be a good move...even if i can't see that in the present moment. no matter how i feel regarding the situation, i can't have a relationship right now. no longer because i still have feelings for someone else or anything like that...because school is and has to be my priority. i can't waste any more time and i need to invest all of me into being a nurse. if you know me...then you know i put it all on the line when i'm in a relationship...i invest as much of my entire being and life as possible into it and into her. with school in the picture...that can't happen right now. and so...i pay the price. a price bigger than previously perceived.

easter and the beginning of medsurg were also around the same time as well. i continue to pay the cost...the cost being many things like time with friends or staying out late like i used to do or working a lot. and little by little as time goes by...i seize a more and more of my dream. i take more charge of who i am. it's not a favorable reality to know that even though i've changed for the better and continue to improve as a person...i have to give up good opportunities and potential blessings. but in the end...it will be worth it. no doubt about that. and yes...i will live up to that title...paid tha cost to be tha boss. finally in charge of my life, my dream, my career, myself...knowing that it and everything else that it took to get to that spot was all for the greater good...for the greater love.

in other news...i did get to bowl again which was flippin' sweet. martin, devyn, ray pda, princess meagan, angelica, whitmore, jordeezy, genn, tiff, james, dennis, pat, nick, jbear, christian, and myself were in full effect. had dinner with genn and some of the homies at tgi friday...it was just great to chill with genn since it's a rarity and a greater blessing nowadays with our busy lives. i also got to hang out with angela martinez, liz, and april at starbucks which doesn't happen so often anymore...once again with our busy lives. ced, jon, crystal, and ramy were also present and added to a very random and hillarious afternoon. with this in mind...i may be wrong about not having a spring break. i seem to be sharing it with my friends who have the luxury of one. more to come on my spring break in the near future then...au revoir!

"still chill."

the weekend is over and my mini spring break is coming to its end. i really appreciated this extended amount of time i've had away from school because it gave me time to recharge, replenish, and unwind for awhile. last supper mass last thursday was exceptional...the homily by father ken was seriously one of the best i've heard. it was about the difference between judas and peter and a look into their perspectives when it came to their betrayal and the aftermath. mosun was just amazing for me. it's been awhile since i've been there and it's always a good time. we got seated rather promptly this time around and things were a lot less stressful. afterwards...we chilled at dennis' condo and steven's dorm. on a random note...i got to see jesus and he finally gave me back my earmuffs that he's had since black friday. speaking of which...friday was very chill even if things didn't go as planned. i was supposed to go out that night with a friend but she stood me up. it doesn't quite phase me but it certainly made me disappointed. whatever...she messed up. that gave me time to chill with my bros anyways.

i was happy to attend the veneration service that day...it's one of my favorite Catholic pasttimes. and once again...the homily was on point. it was about how three trees had big ambitions. one wanted to grow tall to Heaven so that all may look up at it and think of God. one wanted to sail mighty waters. one wanted to hold treasure. they all got chopped down and became something they didn't want or expect...a feeder for livestock, a small sailing boat, and a pile of lumber. greatness revealed itself when the infant Jesus was placed in the feeder, Jesus used the boat to sail with His apostles, and Jesus was crucified to the pieces of lumber. in the end...they may not have gotten what they wanted but they got something so much better.

saturday was very peaceful. even if i had to work early in the morning...i was still very relaxed. after many months...brother bear and i finally got to chill one-on-one. we ate at souplantation and got car washes from barkada modern. we were both happy to catch up with one another and just chill like we ought to. i visited my friends at starbucks and helped pat buy slacks at nordstroms with tiff in brea. randomly (but not surprisingly) enough...we went all the way to victoria gardens to eat at gyu-kaku which for me was the best way to spend the night. after months of not eating there...it's like nothing has changed at all. still good food served by good people and shared with good people amidst good vibes. chyeah!

easter was chill. usual mass festivities. got to spend time with la familia. worked and did absolutely nothing significant during my shift. family party at my grandparents' place. strolled about the spectrum. watched the lakers lose (arrrgh). all in all...a fitting end to my break. not quite going out with a bang but rather simmering down to get ready for the big bang...clinicals!

i hope everyone had a happy easter. continue to love and just be you. remember...whether YOU lose something or YOU gain something...YOU still remains. ya dig?

"relief and release."

it's official...i'm moving on up to medsurg! i celebrated by partying out to kanye west's stronger in my house. however...there are a few people i know that won't be making it past fundamentals unfortunately. it hurts because i really wanted them to make it and my heart goes out for them. i wish them nothing but the best in the future. but for now...i'm going to celebrate this and just life in all it's beauty. betty is coming back tonight. i'm having mosun tonight. yesterday has inspired bigger and better things tonight and this weekend for sure. until the next time...i bid y'all adieu and hope everyone stays safe and loved. chyeah!

"the jump off."

today was the last day of fundamentals. i was so nervous about the final but i'm sure i did well. i think relaxing instead of studying last night was the right choice...i didn't want to exhaust my mind the day before taking such a crucial test. i hope everyone survived. we all won't know until we get the dreaded call...but i'm positive that i made it at least. i have to hope for that. after the exam we all celebrated/let off steam at chili's. i then met up with clarissa in riverside for a much needed chill lunch. i haven't been so at peace like that in weeks so it obviously was a blessing. bj's and thrifty ice cream did us both good. slept the rest of the afternoon and had dinner with katrina, pat, christian, and nick at wingstop. i have a newfound love for lemon pepper. we played a little smash and then bowled with matt. it felt great to bowl again...and i did well which surprised me since i haven't played in months. overall...this day was just amazing because it made me overjoyed to spend time with my good friends and just be chill. today was a testament to how wonderful my life is and how freakin' awesome my loved ones are. pray that i legitimately moved on med-surg...ciao!

"icyhot for my life."

i was watching the episode of rob and big when rob is trying to find ways to make his life more positive and gain balance. the title for this entry is inspired by what he said during his conversation with big black and i can completely relate. i know i've officialy adjusted physically to my schedule when i still wake up at 5-5:30am on the weekend. it's lame to know that i haven't had an uninterrupted 8+ hours of sleep in recent memory. whether or not it shows...i'm getting more and more tired mentally. the life i knew before nursing school is almost a distant memory. the "weight" of finals is now getting to me...it's freakin' 50% of the entire grade! that means if i've had an A (which i unfortunately don't. i have a B)...i could still very well fail the class if i don't pass the exam and i could lose that A if i didn't get an A on the final as well. talk about being tre terrible. i have about 22 chapters to study and it's been giving me a headache. however...my swagger remains strong and the thought of moving up past this class and all the things i'll be doing with friends later on this week is serving as my motivation. just 2 and a half more days of school...and i think that although it's not going get any easier, school will only get better from here on out. i don't think there's a instant quick-fix solution to the stress and pressure that exists in my life...but the things that remind me that life is beautiful and so forth help me get by. for instance...i went to the bi-annual ArtNight in old town pasadena with princess meagan, tiff, and angelica. first and foremost...i never knew there were so many museums in pasadena. i'm definitely going back to visit them all. we could only manage to go to one and that was the norton simon. it was free and it was my first time...so you know i was lovin' it. monet, picasso, degas...i got to see some of my favorite artists as well as religious pieces that really got me thinking which is especially good around this time of lent. and what better way to end the night than dinner at noodleworld. i've said it before and i'll say it again...i live for nights like these. to do what i love with the people i love. it doesn't get any better.

"march madness part 2."

another weekend ends...another week begins. such is life. after finishing up the previous entry...i went over to dennis' house to chill with him, tiff, and pat. picked up katrina and went over to dq to meet up with matt. then all of us had roscoes in pasadena. i don't remember the last time i ate there and this was long overdue so i was definitely overjoyed to have satisfied my craving for chicken and waffles.

afterwards...i went to kim's house for her birthday party. even if i came late (no surprise there) and found almost everyone belligerent and acting a fool, i had a great time. i just hope certain people remember i was there hahaha. it was nice seeing people i haven't seen in ages. i found it hard to leave because it's been difficult for me to make time for people to chill and now that i had the time and the event...i just wanted to stay awhile and make the most of it.

today was fortunately chill. i went to mass at Our Lady of Lourdes in montclair and it was actually one of the most beautiful masses i've ever attended. i don't want to admit it so openly but i did tear up. the church had a nostalgic vibe (i never see stained glass windows anymore), the homily was great, the music was amazing, and they had a organ (one of the coolest instruments...ever)...i think all those factors led to such immense beauty. i met up with the rest of the fam back at St. Paul and we rolled on down to San Juan Capistrano. it was a great time...just being at peace and being with everyone in such a great locale. once again...it was good to chill with people i don't have the chance to chill with as much as i would like to. i've never been to the mission so it was nice to go. there was a lot of pictures taken...A LOT. there's going to be a lot of time spent scavenging for them across the internet. we had lunch at pedro's tacos...amazing burritos. we strolled about the town and immersed ourselves in the simplicity of the day. seriously...i have to go back because of the incredible sense of peace i experienced. something like that just doesn't manifest itself in our daily lives. such peace has to be discovered.

and to think...march isn't over yet. i'm sure there's more madness to come.
2008...why are you in such a rush? cool it now...slow it down.

"march madness part one."

wow...i'm turning out entries like hotcakes. i would think that with my crazy schedule of school all day every day and work on the weekends there wouldn't be much time to update this blog but here i am making it happen...even on a saturday when i have things to get ready for and things to do. last night...three things happen that don't normally occur in my life. 1) i went to california adventure...and only california adventure. usually i manage to park hop and make the most of my pass and time but this was not to be this time around. 2) i went with my classmate justin and his friend justin...obviously not confusing whatsoever. it's unusual because i've never really chilled with people from school let alone with their friends. for the two hours we spent...we had a crazy and funny time. 3) the three of just us so happened to go on cheer day...and the park was filled with cheerleaders. everywhere we went...there was the noise of clapping, cheers, and spirit games. on our way out of the park...a cheerleader surprised me from behind, pinched my butt, and managed to get my phone number out of me (it was a fake number. i'm not r. kelly). obvious enough...that was as random and unexpected as it's been for me recently. tonight...more randomness will go down but i suppose i can fill you in on that later. stay tuned.

"all for the juice."

i just finshed watching the girl next door. it's been more than a year since i've seen it which is crazy because it's one of my favorites. and yes...i was studying at the same time. trust me it's possible. i remember when i first watched this movie. i was inspired to watch it because it apparently had footage of an ideal kiss (and it does actually). but the real reason why i bring up the fact that i watched this movie tonight is because i first watched it more than two years ago and it came at a point where i was weeks away from getting into a relationship...one that took me away from the single life for quite some time. being single now years later hasn't been significantly different from how it was then until i saw the prom scene during the movie. back in the day...prom and other high school dances were a big thing and just the memories and such created during those times were very influential in relationships. it was one of the most romantic experiences you could have if you were aiming for it. now...high school is way back in the past and romantic experiences or dating opportunities are a little harder to come by. oh sure...i can still go out with a girl to watch a movie or have a nice, intimate dinner but that's something i was already doing awhile ago. going on surprise adventures, all-day getaways, beach trips, picnics...the things i'm doing now are the same things that i was doing at an younger age. what i've come to remember/realize tonight is that the difference is not in what you do...but who you are now and what you make of the experience. those two things matter more now than before. you could literally make a girl swoon with a surprise or make her fall in love by dancing away the night with her back then. people seemed to care a lot more about how good the "presentation" of the date and the person than the actual substance of the two (i hope you can understand that concept...otherwise this whole entry is lost to you). i can get a lot more out of a movie night or an impromptu dinner now because there's more focus on the people involved and what you do for that other person. and by what you do...i don't mean gifts and such. i mean you investing your time, your energy, your whole self into another person even if it's for a moment. instead of just talking about how beautiful a girl was, how she would make a great girlfriend because she's so nice, or how her hands and mine together are a perfect fit...i can find myself talking more about how her abilities, desires, likes and dislikes, and such define her as a person and could potentially define me and a possible relationship. one's character shows more and there's more weight to even the subtlest move. there's a lot more maturity now that really refines the connection between two people (i would have said that was obvious but not everyone that gets older grows up). with all this in mind...dating in the present time and finding a healthy, lasting relationship requires much more investing and is a lot more challenging...but it's a lot more satisfying and definitely better. there's no more room for playing games or portraying a modern-day cassanova. it's time to be a lot more real, sophisticated, and mature. otherwise...the juice will never be worth the squeeze.

"a whole lot of whatever."

brett favre retired today...and off into sunset goes one of my favorite football players. aaron rodgers is a good replacement and i'm still confident that green bay (one of my favorite teams...partly due to favre) will still rock it.

i ate at kfc for dinner...only to go home four hours later to eat chicken again for dinner. that's right...i had two dinners and i ate enough chicken to make colonel sanders proud. on that note...i seriously want to eat some roscoes and max's chicken. hmmm...waffles and garlic rice. i hope to satisfy my cravings sooner than later.

aquafina makes beauty products. aquafina?! the water company?! the company that takes tap water and just filters it?! pepsi co?! what?! however ludicrous it all sounds...they do have some appealing products. will i get them? ummmm...no.

one of my classmates today asked if orajel (cold/canker sore treatment) was administered orally or subcutaneously (upon the skin). seriously...seriously? seriously? ORAjel...how more obvious can it get? do we have to add the "l?" just another funny moment at school.

i...the future nurse...ran into liz...the future professional dance team member...randomly at wal-mart. encounters like such are always awesome. i also got to meet up with genevee for a couple of minutes...i haven't seen her in months. seeing the two of them tonight was really great because i don't get to see a lot of my friends as much as i would like to anymore...especially during the week. i truly count these experiences as blessings and i don't take these simple joys for granted.

my tailors of choice, gaby's bridal in chino (trust me...they're damn good), know me on a first name basis now. you may not care about this...but this made me so happy. they've never let me down and they're always friendly and willing to help. plus...the prices are as good as it gets and they even give a discount of sorts every now and then. ah...welcome to the good life.

i went to aaron brothers in hopes of finding a metallic gold sharpie...and i came out empty-handed. this isn't the first time. this is one of many times i've tried to find one in vain. it sounds lame and it actually is...but i'm so passionate about this because i've been looking for one for years now. it started out as a simple browsing around and looking at markers only to realize that gold sharpies were sold out. and i would browse again and again to find none of these rare jewels...and i eventually convinced myself that it would be one heck of a feat to get my hands on one. so yeah...one fine day i will get what i've been looking for. that was actually a pun because the sharpie i want is fine...oh never mind it's a lame pun as well.

and this ends the random that is this entry...good night!

"party of five."

i'm going to talk about five people in my life and keep it as anonymous as possible. yeah...a couple of them are quite obvious but the main purpose of this excercise for me is to really take a closer look at five significant people in my life and really analyze the depths of my connection with them and how i feel about them:

1) i never expected you and i to be friends...but lo and behold you've turned out to be the closest one i've got. it's not that we talk a lot or that we've know each other for years...that's not what this friendship is about. what matters is all the experiences we've shared, the adventures and the drama. the laughs and the randomness. graduations, debuts, food runs, retreats, dance routines, dances, birthdays, hospital visits, shopping trips, games, parties, jam sessions, video games, bbqs, accidents, funerals, whatever...we've been through a whole lot of life together in such little time. i loe the fact that we think the same and pretty much say the same things at the same time like it's natural. you're the most loyal friend i got and i'm blessed to have you in my life because i seriously would have died or something along those lines a long time ago. you've taught me a lot about life and about myself. i promise you that will all that i am and all that i got...i will always be there for you...like urkel! hahahahaha.

2) you amaze me. i can sincerely declare that you are one of the few that have made me feel this way. you've either expanded the horizons of my world or introduced new things to it. i don't know if i can ever truly show how much you mean to me or how thankful i am for you but i do promise that our relationship will come as close as it gets to acheiving all that. i don't want to imagine how my life would be without you and your influence on me. i've had some of the best times of my life with you and that's for real real...not for play play.

3) my so-called eternal rival. i can't help but ultimately measure everything i do to everything you achieve in your life. is there really a competition between us...we fought to top each other in everything back then. we're so different...but so damn similar if that makes any sense. i always seemed to be following you in some way...you're the reason why i got into things like basketball, polo, tommy hilfiger, keroppi, and dragonball z (oh the childhood memories). on that note...i would like to think that you've followed me on things i've done and i can see that in the past. just when i thought we had both forged lives no longer linked to each other like before...i'm chasing the dream of being an lvn like you now. growing up...you were my friend and my antagonist at the same time. above all that...you were the brother i never had...the one that was always in my corner. you always lifted me up when we were young...and now i'll do whatever it takes to always be the one who never lets you down as we get older. we don't really talk anymore and we hardly see each other...but you and i both know we're bound together for life and beyond.

4) to say that you came in the clutch is an understatement. i didn't know what i was going to do with the situations in my life and then you showed up to help me out through random and indirect ways. i'm not sure if you're aware of this...but you changed me for good. i mean...there's a difference between the man i was before we got close and the man i am afterwards. you inspired me to read more, dress differently (and subsequently better), and live my life in a way i knew i couldn't do alone. i'm ever so thankful of our friendship and no matter what has happened recently or will happen...we're still going to be friends.

5) fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice...shame on me. i'll admit it: i was a fool for you. i thought that you were different from others in a good way...but you proved me wrong. we just weren't meant to be. it was my fault and my mistake. the price i paid is clear. i sacrificed more than you'll ever know and even gave up personal success and growth for you hoping you'd do the same and ultimately help me live a better life and become a better person. but no...you proved me wrong. i'll always be grateful for things you did for me...but never think you did more, suffered more, or loved more. i was the one with the broken trust, the broken heart, and the broken confidence. that will always hurt more than your broken skin. but like i said...i thank you for all you did for me. by breaking my heart and letting me go...you pushed me away and i slowly but surely learned and grew to become a better person. recovery seriously started the moment i realized the truth...it's weird how it all worked out like such. space is what we both needed and i'm glad you were the one to take the intiative. so i suppose in a way you did make me a better person. you can't even imagine how much my life is better without you by my side...better than the whatever number of months we spent together. that is definitely a grace i don't ever take for granted. when i look at your life, i definitely see change but growth is slight. don't get it twisted...never forget this...i'll always have love for you and you'll be in my prayers but you got to help yourself and stop being emotionally dependent on others. be strong on your own and find beauty is loving and being simple. high heels, makeup, and flashy clothes only make you look like something. a smile and a laugh here and there only makes you look nice. and having people around without really connecting with everyone like you should only makes you look friendly. stop looking like someone...start being someone. step it up. you're an amazing person who could be so much better. you know this to be true...you don't invest enough faith and hope. what enough is...that's up to you. all i can say is that you need take joy and confidence in true beauty and true love. be real and grow. you're no longer the girl i fell for but you're someone good nevertheless. darkness doesn't last forever and light will always prevail...i have hope you'll ultimately prove me wrong yet again.

"halftime."

this entry compliments "unfinished business."

the past couple of days have been very enjoyable. i went to tash's house on friday night for a sushi session. it was funny...christian, pat, and i tried to make sushi but failed. apparently it's not like riding a bike for me. good music. good food. good people...got to meet new people. i guess i can deduct that it was a good night. however...saturday night was even better because i got to see matt maher perform at the anaheim marriott. in case you don't know...matt mahter is a Catholic musician whose songs have inspired all that i am to be a better person living a better life. he's truly saved my life with his music. i've seen him perform before and he's always good...and this was no exception. his band only played three songs...but it was phenomenal...i'm still feeling the effects of it. the other acts were great too...especially jesse. that guy has so much soul and heart in his voice and music that you can't help but love life and others more because of him.

i realized that night that this weekend marks the halfway mark of lent. i didn't sacrifice or give up anything for lent...thinking that if i just do more of what's good then i'll still get a whole lot of out the season. however...i haven't done as much as i thought i would and not making sacrifices has actually brought me down. i remembered that to live is to suffer and to suffer is to love. it requires simplicity, humility, faith, and hope...which is something i didn't completely have this lent so far. i am truly blessed though because i still have time to make something great...something "more" happen. like the kite runner stated..."there is still time to be good again." and so...for the couple of weeks until easter sunday i will make sacrifices and make a true effort as a Catholic to prepare for the Resurrection. God deserves that. i deserve that from myself. it's time to do work...for real. halftime's over...GAME ON.