"knowledge is king."

yes, i was burned but i call it a lesson learned.
mistake overturned so i call it a lesson learned.
my soul has returned so i call it a lesson learned...
another lesson learned.

2008 was a great year.

i won't recap it but i will surely remember all the joy and suffering. i will cherish both because they have further justified my belief that i live a beautiful life, adding more definition to it. 2009 will be so amazing because of everything that took place this year.

life perfect ain't perfect if you don't know what the struggle's for.
falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor.
it's called the past because i'm getting past
and i ain't nothing like i was before...
you ought to see me now.

here's a visual representation of what i want to say...



last night (miraculously) was the 3rd annual ACE Christmas dinner party. it was something i wanted to make a reality for the longest time...our close friends coming together like before to celebrate Christmas and the values it consists of...love, joy, peace, and hope. i didn't think it was going to happen because of everything that's happened with us this past year. however, all was well in the end. in "field of dreams" fashion, i hosted the party...and they came. it was one of the last remaining highlights of 2008...but it was one that was personally gratifying and wonderful.

wherever you are and whatever you do to bring in the new year...be safe and live it up!

and maybe you can meet up with my friends and me here...



that's all for me to post this year...i'll see you in 2009. happy new year!

"crispy."

it's always a good Christmas day when the lakers play and win...especially when they beat the celtics. the usual pan-fried noodles, fried rice, and prime rib. played monopoly with the cousins...and it ended with us giving up like always because of shady deals and free rent.

i went out with matt to watch benjamin button. met up with tiff, her siblings, and her cousin. aimee, eric and ervin were there. so was donally and devyn. the cristals, mike mang, ramy, and cedric were two row in front of us. shawn and chelsea david were with their family. austin and sylvie were somewhere in the theater. everyone and their degrees of separation where pretty much watching the movie...which was really good. good screenplay and visuals. a very quotable movie. it definitely was a nice finishing touch to such an awesome Christmas day.

the new year is days away but there's still so much to live out in 2008.

today is christian's birthday...go and wish him well if you haven't yet!



this is in celebration of his birthday hahaha.

"818s and heart(s that will never)break."

surprised jen sar for her birthday gift with a trip down to the griffith park dwp light festival. she was blindfolded during the car ride there up until we got on the tour bus for the festival, even during our pit-stop at starbucks in los feliz. there were buildings, dinosaurs, surfers, cowboys, indians, animals, elves, airplanes, body-builders, bikini girls, bridges, and all sorts of things illuminated. here's a small sample of what we saw:














awesome display of Christmas lights...you need to go if you haven't before. i've wanted to go for years so i'm glad i can finally say i went.







went over to la crescenta/montrose and ate at the rocky cola cafe. it was very nostalgic eating there and just being back in my childhood hometown. going through the shopping park, seeing holy redeemer, passing by my old home and schools, driving around and seeing all the things i still remember...the joy of coming back there is one-of-a-kind.






later on in the night...i met up with krysta, marc, pat, russell, and aimee at bj's for a long-awaited, long-overdue reunion. john antolin, nick, tiff, gelo, and dennis came through as well. hours of laughs, catching up, and entertainment. it was simply amazing spending time with these people that i don't get to chill with as much as i'd like to, especially russell who i haven't seen in years.



it's so affirming to know that after all this time...we're all still friends. friends that can be apart for so long and come back together like nothing's happened ---> la bella vita.

if i don't feel Christmas right now, with everything i've done in the past 24 hours...then i never will.

"illuminate."

"where are you yeezy?!"

i thought that starting winter break last friday was going to help me feel the Christmas spirit more, but nothing has changed apart from the fact that a majority of my time is no longer spent at school. three days left until Christmas day and i don't think it's going to feel how i want to ideally feel. however, i'm blessed to be feeling a whole lot of love, joy, and peace, especially in the past few days. perhaps this is what the Christmas spirit feels like when you're an adult...evolved.

watched bolt with dennis, fred, and tiff.



i wasn't really wanting to watch this movie...but it got to me with its first scenes. it was a good idea to see bolt after all, and you need to watch it if you love dogs.

annual crosstrainer ugly sweater Christmas party. good as always. i got a hairspray dvd from white elephant. i was happy because i've wanted to get it for quite some time now.

ate at lucille's bbq for my mom's birthday. i've got a soft spot for their oh-so-tender chicken and sweet corn. without fail...the food coma took me over and i was knocked out for a couple hours after lunch.

went to starbucks @ grand and valley with tiff to meet up with david and jenny. good conversation over cups of lattes and ciders. afterwards...tiff and i went over to glendale galleria to carouse and shop. found gifts and such. we chilled at the american for a quick sec (emphasis on quick) before heading over to mixbowl in pomona to catch up on dinner.




there's something about this sight that will always make me smile.

this is going to be a week to remember...however you spend it, spend it well.

"you drive me crazy."

when i woke up this morning at 4:50am, i knew this day was going to be rough...and i was definitely right. i was more annoyed than usual by the drive to hemet, especially with all the rain and fog. my clinical instructor was more irritating than ever before...and she disrespected our class with her belittling statements and actions. then, after an 8-hour shift...i had to pick up my auntie aichu from LAX, a journey that took 5 hours from hemet to LAX and back home in more rain and traffic.

don't get me wrong, it was a pleasure to take care of my patients today and i have no qualms about picking up my aunt. today was just not my day...sigh.

here's to a better tomorrow. hopefully one with less driving.

"30 rock."

inspired by recent facebook notes from my friends (they know who they are)...here are 30 random facts about myself, announcements, and thoughts.

1) one time when i was working at starbucks...i once rocked out around the store to the killers' "when you were young." i was using a mop stick as a guitar and mic, and i got up on the register counter and did jumps like david lee roth. i was also singing through the drive thru speakers. liz and fred (and anyone who heard on the drive thru speaker from the street) were my audience. luckily, the store was empty and no one came in or went through the drive thru.

2) for thankgiving during the second grade, i dressed up as an indian using a surgical gown and my mom created war paint on my face using lipstick because we didn't have time to get real face paint.

3) astronomy was my first passion in school. i absolutely loved reading about stars, planets, and other galaxies. i love it so much that to honor my passion...i have glow-in-the-dark stars on my room's ceiling to simulate the night sky as i go to bed.

4) when it comes to fragrances, my friends usually go to me for help and suggestions. in fact, i've gone with them to sephora and other stores as a consultant. i was also offered a job by the supervisor of the fragrance department at bloomingdale's in south coast plaza.

5) growing up, i favored listening to disco/doo-wop/soft rock/1950's/1960's music over pop, hip-hop, r&b, and alternative rock...genres that are now in heavy rotation for me.

6) i used to be really into tumbling and what not when i was a kid. i'm not sure what happened, but sometime after i came back from a trip to the philippines in 1995 i became scared of it. now, i have the hardest time doing something as simple as a somersault.

7) i went to 5 proms, but i never went to sadies.

8) the first song i ever downloaded from the internet was one voice's "always on my mind."

9) i've been to knott's berry farm only once for the actual theme park experience, but i've gone two times for funnel cake and three times for their amazing mrs. knott's fried chicken.

10) i miss the days when mcdonalds was less healthy with the chicken nuggets and they still used dark meat pieces. i never dipped them in sauce unless it was the nuggets made out of white meat.

11) two years ago, before i went out, i used to dress up/get ready to ne-yo's "sexy love."

12) my favorite kind of pancakes are swedish pancakes.

13) in elementary school, i had a dream that i was dating a classmate named kelly. however, i believed it was real so when i went to school the morning after i acted like her boyfriend and she thought i was crazy.

14) i'm a huge lakers fan so during the kobe and shaq era, i bought shaq's classic lakers (from their minnesota days) jersey. unfortunately, he was traded months later and i no longer could wear it. such a bust.

15) i remember the times when h&m was really good and really cheap. don't get me wrong...h&m style is still fresh and the prices are decent, but i remember the days when it was only exclusive on the east coast nationally and i bought three impeccably made and complete wardrobes for about $80.

16) one sure way to know i like someone: i give them a care bear. it's also what i used to do for a lot of my high school dance dates...but not because i like them.

17) my dad got upset at me one time for using curve for men cologne. he didn't like the fact that i was using a cheap cologne so he bought giorgio armani's agua di gio for me to "teach me a lesson."

18) an ambition of mine is to get tattoos by mister cartoon and kat von d.

19) i have a fascination with greek and norse mythology.

20) i've never seen the sound of music yet i know all the songs. i'm hoping to finally watch it when betty comes home for winter break.

21) i didn't like mike leelin when i first met him...as shocking as that is. the man is amazing and he's like a big brother to me now.

22) when i got out of biology class at chaffey in the afternoon a couple of years ago...i would play frou frou's "let go" as i made my way to the car. it was a very cinematic moment...the music, the sun in the distance and the humbling view, and of course...the feeling of getting out of class and going home.

23) my favorite sushi place was called sushi masa. when i moved to california, this became my family's default restaurant. we stopped going there after we moved to chino hills and it has since closed down unfortunately.

24) my first crush and first kiss was a girl named princess. she and i were both 4 at the time and lived across the street from each other. we would walk to school together with my nanny. cute naman!

25) current guilty pleasures: listening to taylor swift's "love story" and david archuleta's "crush."

26) when i sprint, i run on my toes. this led to my classmates back in elementary school calling me forrest gump because he runs the way.

27) without fail, i'll always get down to montel jordan's "this is how we do it."

28) my favorite pairs of shoes are the nike foamposite pro one in orlando magic blue and the nike air jordan xiv low in white/carolina blue. here's thing thing though...i've never owned a pair of either shoe. there was just something about those shoes that captivated my eyes. i was unable to get them when i was a kid and i still can't get any years later. hopefully, that will change in the future and i'll finally have them.

29) these are my three of my most enduring goals...to attend ucla, visit yellowstone national park, and to drive a delorean.

30) whenever i make a big purchase (and/or a really good one), i reenact what nicholas cage does in gone in 60 seconds when he's listening to war's "low rider."

"yo diciembre!"

the past 48 hours have been sashimi status. originally...i was supposed to go to madrigal feaste on friday night with pat but that didn't end up working out. then, i was planning to have shabu-shabu at my house with dennis and some other people but that ended up falling apart. instead, by some sort of divine working, i randomly called clarissa while i was at the gym to say hi...and that hello turned into dinner at gyu-kaku in victoria gardens with her and dennis. she hasn't been feeling well as of late so it was a pleasure for dennis and me to take her out to help her feel better. good dinner as always with a good conversation to match. it's been months since i've eaten there (granted that we have all been busy and it's not exactly the cheapest meal) so i was glad to eat there at least one more time before the end of the year. pinkberry afterwards and the night was complete.

yesterday, i went with genevee, fred, nick, jen, senpai, pare, marc, charlene, chris ha, sylvie, chris lee, austin, pat, arthur, jeanette, ana, tracy, and rachel to the ponte winery in temecula for katrina and dennis' birthdays. i've never really been to temecula so i was surprised to discover how much parts of it look like chino hills. i was also surprised to see how vast and beautiful their wine country was. all in all...a very pleasant, peaceful, and relaxing time with good company. eating at alberto's afterwards was a bad choice, but getting pizookies at bj's with fred and genevee was a good one for sure.

later on that night...dennis, stephen, jen, mike b, arthur, pat, and i went over to kimi's house for her birthday party. a definite highlight of 2008 for damn sure. it was great to chill with troy/st. joe people, ucla people, old friends i haven't seen in awhile, and newfound friends. it's always good to have great people come together to make cinematic moments happen.



i'm the happiest i've been since probably around july. it really does feel great to be back in school, to have my appetite for some structured, professional learning satisfied. i'm more confident about things and i'm excited for what's to come.

it may not feel like Christmas right now, even with it being less than two weeks away, but it does feel like the most wonderful time of the year.

"getting the groove back."

i aced my first exam in neuro. okay okay...this should be expected because of my situation but i'm still overjoyed about it. the more important victories still lie ahead, like surviving the 3 weeks/3 times a week/24 hours a day grind in hemet and the final on 1/30. i'll just keep on going. warming up to my classmates slowly but surely. i've been quiet and keeping a little to myself (mostly because of me being really sick)...but they will see how i do soon enough.

i found out stevie wonder might be doing the 8th season of dancing with the stars. the show is a guilty pleasure of mine on monday/tuesday/wednesday nights and i'm hoping he really goes for it. just because he's blind doesn't mean he can't dance, and as a big fan of his music...i know the man can groove like no other.

space 15 twenty ---> curated by urban outfitters, it's a recently new retail space in hollywood with some funky fresh (yeah i still use funky fresh) stores. check it out if you're in the area.

there's not that many female dancers that inspire me...but here are two of the ones who definitely do.

rino nakasone.



gigi torres.



one fine day...i will return to dancing.

until then ---> peace!

"cornerstone."

going back wasn't as awkward as i thought it would be. in fact...the first thing that happened the moment i stepped into the classroom was someone screaming "john!" i turned around to find it was my old classmate sarah. way more people in this class than my other one. my teacher mrs. giles is so far so good...she reminds me (and looks like) cedric the entertainer (with the wig martin lawrence used for big momma's house). the first day was smooth and fast. i don't know what is to come in the weeks to come with neuro, but i know that like allstate...i'm in good hands.






rachel, tiff, yonas, yambeezy, christian, and i met up at starbucks tonight for a short rendezvous (short for me since i left first). it was nice to talk with them over some hot drinks and have some laughs. it's such a comfort to know these people along with my family, faith, and the rest of my friends are my foundation.



and maybe some things are THAT simple.

"big."

my last day before i go back to school...and i spend it sick and at home. as i do whatever i can to recover in time for class/clinical. i still remember being in the office of the student services director with my parents when we found out i would be going back in december 10 instead of september 30. the shock, the anger, the sadness...it was a lot to take in at one time. for almost three months, i have waited to make my comeback. it's been hard dealing with this situation on all levels. now...it's going to be very humbling since i will be seeing all my friends/classmates graduate before me...months ahead of me. it's going to be difficult balancing my life with school back in the mix again. some of my friends are married, some have children already, some are expecting children, some are going to grad school, others already have careers, and the rest are on the verge of starting careers within the upcoming year or so. i'm none of the above. that needs to change this year because it's that or nothing. as i mentioned in the last entry...tomorrow is the beginning of my victory. to win takes a lot of work, effort, and sacrifice. a boy tried making it through concorde before and didn't succeed, only to realize it takes a man to seize the win. a man is making his return tomorrow. growing up is troublesome, but staying the same is far more worse.

"TKO."

next wednesday, december 10, i make my long awaited comeback to concorde. i return to finish what i started, continuing where i left off. the past couple of months have been both hard and easy. i've suffered much but i've also enjoyed my time. the next seven months will be challenging. as much as i wish there wasn't, there's going to be more drama and more pressure. regardless, i'm ready to get back into the grind again. i'm going to suffer some more...but i'll do whatever it takes to live some more, love some more, succeed some more.

last week at pat's post-thanksgiving party, we were playing rock band 2 and i was listening to paramore's "that's what you get." i've never heard the song before and i'm now in love with it.

"that's what you get when you let your heart win."

this phrase from the chorus keeps repeating in my mind. true to the words...i don't always act or think logically. i tend to do things based on my passion for it. i get carried away with following my heart.

"i drowned all my senses with sound of its beating."

i make mistakes over and over again...this wouldn't happen so much if i actually used my brain more. i probably would be a more rational and more responsible person if i didn't act so much on what i feel...if i actually became more aware and the urgency to be a better man. during my time away from concorde...i've been learning (the hard way) to achieve this...to be more real than ideal and to think things through more thoroughly. it's been difficult but i believe to be growing slowly but surely.

i'm going to be honest. i'm not exactly the image of what a nurse should be. people see me more as a teacher than a nurse. they say i'm not responsible enough, i'm not cut out for it, and i don't have what it takes to be a nurse. they think i'm talented in teaching people, reaching out to others and helping them. what those people don't understand is that this is why i want to be a nurse. beyond the pressure of my parents and criticism from whoever...i want to be a nurse because i know this what i'm supposed to do. i didn't believe that at first and i did want to do other things. my past failures in school discouraged me. i felt i couldn't live up to my ambition. i fall, get up, and fall again even harder...a vicious cycle. but, my love of nursing only grew through it all. there's no joy that compares to what i feel when i'm able to help a patient out and spend time with them. my life, my soul flourishes through my service. i want to be nurse because of that...because i can make a lifelong career out of the best thing in life...doing what i love with the people i love. this is where my heart has taken me...i've arrived at this realization. i know i'm going to make more mistakes, but i'm going to keep going, keep growing. i'll never be the perfect nurse...but i'll be a nurse with a good heart. a capable nurse with the talent and knowledge to do the damn thing. and yeah...by being a nurse, i'll be able to teach compassion and care. i'll be able to show people how to live well.

i'll continue to use my heart as i have before. i'm going to make compromises now and i will step it up with maturity, but i won't stop letting my heart thrive in what i do. this is who i am. i can't change that and what i've done, although i will change for the better.

i have to reiterate that my life is filled with many flaws, mistakes, and failures. however, all my actions have led me to a life filled with so much love, so much joy, so much hope, so much beauty. i have learned through my past to persevere, to keep going no matter what because the best is always yet to come. i've realized that it is through my passion as well as suffering that i become stronger and better. i've learned to truly live...

and that's what you get when you let your heart win.




december 10...is the beginning of my victory.

"(black) fridays with morkie."

i discovered/was reminded of something remarkable this after watching an afternoon's worth of mork and mindy (a classic. robin williams at his best). he made a report to his alien superiors about how every human being is vulnerable to the same illness...



loneliness.

emotional, spiritual, mental, physical loneliness. everyone is alone for all sorts of reasons. we all have felt or been alone at some time...even when we are in the midst of many. we may feel alone because of the fact that we are different from one another, unique, and one-of-kind. we all tend to live in our own worlds from time to time and that can be lonely. we all just want to be by ourselves every one in awhile and push others away. other times, we're far from good company or are separated from family and friends. every now and then, people can't understand us, argue with us, hurt us, upset us, and depress us...and that can make us feel alone. and the feeling can grow into feeling unloved...or even worse, apathetic. the cure? mork knew it. relationships ---> people ---> all of us. the simple act of being together with people that we are fond of, that we appreciate, that we care for. beyond that...even the people we push away, we have conflicts with, we get annoyed with, we are disgusted by, we oppose, we dislike and may even hate. ironically...they are actually the cure. we really are all connected. what each of us do has the potential to affect all of us. everyone can help us or hurt us. like an illness, the wrongdoings we commit against one another cause much pain. we need to cure ourselves and each other of this...we need to get better, be the cure we're meant to be.

for the first black friday in years, i wasn't in a crazy, huge line for a sale or working on the other side trying to appease one early in the morning or night. instead...i slept well after a great dinner with family and watching quantum of solace with three of the best people in my life (you know who you are). through my family and friends...there was no way of getting sick this thanksgiving. as the year ends and we go through the holidays, let's make amends with one another, spend time with each other, and be closer...our very lives depend on it. i hope you all had a great thanksgiving and may everyone have a merry Christmas!



stay healthy!

"the blaze of glory."

congratulations to ryan and jenelee for getting engaged saturday night.

this weekend was definitely unexpected.

it started out chill on friday night. met up with dub at the gym and then we dined at boston kitchen afterwards...we both had a hankering for some foo chow fried rice, garlic spare ribs and deep fried squid with pepper salt. the next morning...the two of us headed over to culver city with arthur for the rock and republic sale at sony studios. the selection was decent, the price was good, and we each came out with at least a pair. we saw glimpses of the sylmar fire when were in la but came home surprised to find a fire over in corona. immediately made my way over to riverside (dodging traffic and madness) to drop off parent letters at the retreat. by the time i got home, the fire got bigger and was over in yorba linda and anaheim hills. had lunch at lucille's for izzy's birthday. it was really nice to see my cousins and their families. i'm glad that a lucille's is now conveniently located two miles from my house. good food as always with a food coma as usual. another tko courtesy of lucille's bbq.

when i woke up, it was dark outside and the fire was even bigger. at this point...i really didn't think it would reach chino hills, let alone my neighborhood, so i went out. met up with joseph, yonas, matt duarte, matt elias gaby, noel, christian, and bojie to pray a holy hour. had dinner at yard house with christian, mike b, bojie, arthur, jen, and devyn. i came home around 11pm to find out on the news that the fire is getting more serious and it was making its way through carbon canyon. minutes later...my family realizes the fire is in chino hills state park (which we live near the entrance of) but not yet in our city boundaries. i decide to stay up while my parents sleep.

around 2:30am...i decide to step out of the house and see what's going on with the fire, only to be shocked at the sight of the fire slowly but surely engulfing the hills by our neighborhood. at this point...i knew we weren't safe anymore and we had to leave asap. i immediately woke up my parents and we rushed to pack up our cars with essentials. while i maintained a calm mood...i was definitely nervous and scared. i was worried about my cousins and relatives who live in the area. i was thinking about friends and their families. so many thoughts all at once and there wasn't much time to stop and take it all in. it was an adrenaline rush that didn't seem to end. the fire really put things in perspective, like what really matters and what is truly essential. three cars packed with the belongings we can't live well without... everyone in the neighborhood was running about packing up and checking out the blaze. my car stuffed to the max with 10 years worth of my life. i have never experienced a war zone, but this felt like one. the panic, the fright, the danger. one thing i noticed was that i have never seen my neighbors so united, so caring about one another. we all helped each other out and gave whatever comfort we could. while i didn't think much of it in the moment, it truly was a grace and a reminder that love is what ultimately matters, what will definitely last. the fire was both a sight to behold and something to fear. it lit up the darkness, but it covered the sky in smoke and threatened to destroy my home. i went through the house as if this was the last time i would be inside it. i had much hope, yet i acted as if this was the worst case scenario. packing up and leaving the house was extremely heartbreaking and hard for my mom but my dad and i were able to support her and help her depart. it was so difficult to not give in to my emotions...i had to step it up for the people i love. finally, upon finding out that some roads were to be blocked soon and the window for getting away from the fire was closing, we left for my grandparents' apartment in chino. the sight was unbelievable on the way there. the streets were filled with spectators, law enforcement officers, and firefighters. fire engines, fire trucks, and cars speeding about. people stocking up supplies and camping out at gas stations and the local albertsons. we met up with eric at the apartment. after spending some time to calm our nerves and get updates on the news, my parents left to check out the fire site while francis and tita susan picked eric and me up to return to the site and bring over more of their belongings to the apartment. confusion and panic was in abundance during this time, but that didn't really matter because the sun was rising and we saw the fires being contained. it wasn't before long that we found out that our houses were safe and that the houses of my friends and family were okay as well. this is clearly some of the best news i've ever heard. the five of us came back to chino were we rested up, and by noon time...my family was back home.

although i hope no one experiences what i have endured, i learned a great deal from this and saw many good things. i saw my family come together to get through this ordeal and persevere. i witnessed strangers treating each other like loved ones. my strength and endurance was put to the test and i grew from it. firefighters rose to the occasion, risking their lives as heroes. fires engulfed acres of land but failed to send our spirits into ruin. while these flames burned brightly and illuminated the sky...the fire within us, our passion and love, was greater and stronger. i saw the human soul prevail last night and it was awesome...right down to the wire, even through the fire.

ended the weekend with mass for the retreat and dinner at sandra's with the crosstrainers. as today comes to a close, i look back in sheer awe of what has taken place...and i look ahead smiling with faith, hope, and love.

this was just my experience...and it's crazy knowing that others had it much worse than me. i'm incredibly blessed and thankful to still have what i got in tact. please pray for an end to all the fires going on right now in southern california as well as for the victims and anyone affected by them.

"100."

this is the 100th entry...not that thrilling, really.

anyways, after months of hiatus...kp, nick, christian, meagan, pat, arthur, matt, martin, and i went to go monday night bowling. i remember the times (earlier this year and most of last year) when we used to habitually drop by yorba linda bowl every week. i don't think we'll go back to bowling every week but it was nice to bowl last night and i hope we get to bowl more every now and then. afterwards...we made it out to the hat and got our pastrami/fried onions/hot dog/grilled cheese sandwich/fries fix.

earlier that day...i walked to ashley's house to bring her lunch because homegirl was sick. nothing does a sick body better than some grilled salmon w/ ponzu, citrus fruits, and green tea. we then spent the afternoon watching a very special love...typical filipino super-cheesy romantic comedy. i don't normally take care of my friends like this...but i'm going to for sure now because i should if i can.

spent veterans' day playing basketball (for once) with the guys. met up with jen sarmeezy at peet's coffee...they make a legit white mocha. tiff also came around to chill. found out that there's a vegas trip for the may birthday people now...which i was oblivious to. charlene, dub, nikki, matt (turning 21), and i get to celebrate in a big way next year. i'm excited now because dub and i wanted a vegas trip for our birthdays this year. i suppose good things come to those who wait (or don't know they're waiting).

"an affair to remember."

last night was jen's birthday dinner aka. kiss on the lips party. if you're on point with gossip girl then you know what's up with the name of the party. rolled with arthur, christian, and pat to tantalum in long beach ---> "exotic dining and waterfront lounge." great environment and ambiance. kobe burger was a sure shot. in true og fashion...we were all dressed to the nines and keeping it fresh. hundreds of pictures were taken as usual. afterwards, most people left but steven, nick, kp, dennis, christian, pat, senpai, matt, jen, arthur, and i went over to newport to chill at dennis'. all in all...yet another good night, birthday celebrated, and experience to cherish.

please pray for brother bear because he got into a car accident last night. he's fine now, but the car isn't...and i hope everything will be okay in the long run.

"si se puede."

yes we can...




yes we did.




i'm happier knowing he really is going to be our next president. his time has finally arrived. a job well done goes out to john mccain...a good fight all the way to the end. he is a good man and a good choice, but in my opinion (and the opinion of the majority), obama is the right man... the better choice.

and i'm lovin' it.

"it only takes a moment."

just finished watching wall-e.
most definitely...super officially...on point.
good story, good message,
good romance, good music, good laughs.
pixar strikes gold yet again...
this has become one of my favorite animated films.

if you haven't watch it...go and do so.
if you already watched it...it deserves another viewing.

good night.

"where's fluffy?"

last night ---> went to watch achi, austin, and martin perform at expressions of faith in hacienda heights at the united filipino methodist church with meagan. good performance for sure. it was worth enduring the rain and traffic to watch them play. ate in-n-out on the way back to the hills...which would unfortunately give me gastritis today (kuwawa status). tiff met up with us at harkins and we watched nick and norah's infinite playlist.



awesome movie. good laughs. definitely good music.

a quote from the movie can sum up last night...
"i'm not missing it...this is it."

happy all saints and all souls day weekend to all...and to all a good night.

"full speed ahead."

the best halloween in years for sure...even without a costume. erika's debut was a definite good time. it was an honor and a pleasure to sing for her and to be a rose. ended the night at brendan's party. good times as always...it was nice seeing everyone just chillin' out.

november has arrived...and now there's only two months left in the year. 2008 is going by so quickly and it seems to be picking up speed as we move surely towards 2009. the best time of the year is almost upon us. 4 weeks until thanksgiving followed by 4 weeks of (hopefully) joyous occasions and advent leading up to Christmas. i'm probably ahead of myself (which is not unusual) but i'm going to go ahead with what i'd like to get out of this coming holiday season. all i want for Christmas is this...




and this...



but most definitely this...






the best gift of all:
love.
the gift that keeps on giving.
the gift that never gets old.
the only gift worth giving back and forth.

that's all for now...take care and much love!

p.s. reminder: daylight savings time starts tomorrow, november 2, at 2:00am.

"underneath it all."

happy halloween!

don't forget...vote next tuesday!
two years of propositioning and campaigning
culminates in one day of election,
an election of a lifetime!

to commemorate both halloween and election day
(or to be more specific...who to vote for on november 4),
here's a classic video from halloween last year:



enjoy the night and be safe!

"are you not entertained?!"

www.freerecentmovies.blogspot.com

in the words of trina...

"YO WELCOME
(add finger snap and head sassing here)!"

"tres."

watched high school musical 3 with jen. theater was packed with oh-my-gah! youth. the movie was obviously corny/cheesy/whatever...but i loved it. vanessa anne hudgens is on point. catchy songs. a great finish to the trilogy. it's crazy...we have watched all three movies together. i still remember two years ago staying in on a friday night just to watch the premiere of the first one (and the second one the year after). oh nostalgia. anyways...if you're a fan of high school musical, go watch it. if you're not a fan, avoid at all cost! hahaha...good night.

"risky business."

guitar hero. where karaoke happens.

"super kawai."

kawai(i) = japanese for cute. it really has nothing to do with what i'm about to talk about...i just like the term haha. while about 20 of my friends are gone for the weekend celebrating a whole lot of birthdays in vegas...dennis, pat, christian, fred, matt, kp, jen, arthur, and myself went down to san diego saturday night to visit ana and check out barona ranch.
it wasn't vegas (we technically were in an oversized barn) but we all definitely enjoyed ourselves and laughed a lot (a lot of laughs at my own expense wah wah). it was really nice to chill with ana and catch up with her. after struggling with dinner choices (from pizza to ramen), we decided upon sushi and ate at sushi time where joe (ana's friend) works. good sushi at a good price...well done, ana. after getting lost a bit and going through many freeway changes and a winding road, we arrived at barona. it's a quaint little casino ---> i was diggin' the vibe of it. some of us played slots, some played poker, and the rest were playing black jack. all-in-all, a good experience. while pat, christian, kp, jen, and arthur left for the hills...the rest of us delayed our return home and decided to get toll house cookie dough and milk at a nearby wal-mart. we ate them at ana's place while watching family matters. it was late into the night and very random but dennis was right...it's not every day we get to chill with ana down in sd (and have cookies and milk with her at 3am in the morning). i know i always talk about having awesome times and good nights...but tonight was especially awesome and it was especially a good night, a standout in recent memory. it's been a long time since a big group of us went out like this...quite nostalgic (and i'm hoping for more in the near future). i miss ana already...hopefully she's enjoying the cookies she tried to give to us on our way out haha.

"mille lune mille onde."

i know i've said it before that i wouldn't post pictures or videos on this blog because i'd like to think that my words would be sufficient enough to express everything. well...i've changed my mind. i was on youtube and i randomly wanted to search for this old barilla commerical. i watched it growing up. no one quite knows this but it was the reason why i got into cooking. there's no way my words can say it all so i'll let andrea bocelli and roberto farnesi show you what i mean.



yeah, this was random. but...i wanted to share this because this really means alot to me. watching this commerical always makes me happy. i hope you enjoyed it as well. ciao!

"sumo or bust."

after months of failed attempts...finally went to yojie shabu shabu for austin's birthday. we took over the restaurant...austin, sylvie, christian, tiff, marc, jp, nikki, achi, charlene, anavie, sensei, chris ha, chris lee, tracy, john lee, martin, meagan, melinda, eddie, pare, mike juloya, dub, rachel, jenelle, ryan, and myself. i don't want to sound biased but it was the best shabu shabu i have had. i have been to numerous places over the past 16 years and i have not enjoyed a shabu shabu meal more thoroughly than this one. the meat was of great quality, well-cut, and came in great portions (good value). the ponzu sauce was made from scratch and absolutely delicious...my compliments to the chef (or tita yojie). the service was on point and the banana foster was a nice finishing touch to the dinner. it was definitely a good night for celebration, food, and friends.

"better in time."

18 hours from now...i'll be at lax picking my parents up from their trip to spain and portugal. once they're back, there won't be many late nights and adventures for a long time. in fact...i don't expect to see or chill with my friends as much as i'm accustomed to. with all this in mind and for what it's worth...the past 336 hours that they've been gone have most definitely been awesome. my parents needed time away and i needed some freedom and space...even if it's temporary. i was able to chill with friends more than usual and catch up with those i haven't seen in awhile. i ate a great restaurants and celebrated birthdays in amazing ways (see the last 2 blogs). i was able to relax and go on adventures in a much simpler way than what i'm known for (and there's nothing wrong with that because it's much better this way). what i cherish most about this time is that i was reaffirmed (constantly) of the bonds i share with my friends. more than ever...i know i have found friends who will last me a lifetime and beyond. i may be spending less time with them now...but it's going to be great after i finish this nursing program next year. it doesn't get any easier to live and love, but it only gets better to do so.

"new kid on the block."

i hope the dodgers whomp on the phillies. now that the angels are no longer playing...the hope of los angeles (and the the west coast) lies in the hands of the blue crew. after gathering cans and bottles for weeks...i finally recycled them and got some cash redemption. only $4.20. it wasn't much but it was something and i'm grateful for it. i look forward to redeeming more recyclables...got to hustle for that paper. thai food was the cuisine of the day. bua for lunch with karla and dinner at mr. noodle (i finally went) with tash. although i was quite late...i managed to make it to tash's who am i? discussion. my friend michelle saved me as she directed me through the campus (while running) and helped me reach the meeting. it was nice to see some familiar faces (tiffany, rachelle) and meet some new ones (rex, stephanie, michelle, and so forth). stephanie and michelle's car overheated in westwood so we spent almost two hours waiting for aaa to come twice and tow the car (there was a miscommunication the first time around and they just unnecessarily jumpstarted it). although i didn't have to stay since i drove separately with tash, it was the right choice to stay and keep them company. a random experience indeed but i think it was worthwhile...it's not every day i get to chill with new people in la.

fullness.

in case you don't notice...i changed the title picture again. it's a personal way of expressing myself moving (leaping to be more precise) boldy towards much uncertainty, but something bright and beautiful.

so what have i been up to for past two weeks or so?

that can be answered by the places i ate at and all the culinary goodness i consumed. did the harvest run 5k with dennis, kp, and nick. did it in about 35 minutes...i should have done better and i will prove it next year. the breakfast served by geezers (no not old people...that's the name of the catering service) after that was so good. i didn't know apples and pancakes went so well together. played the usual annual bingo at the harvest festival and ate filipino bbq yet again. watched there will be blood with austin and matt. creepy, somewhat boring, and way too long. the acting, especially daniel day-lewis, was the only highlight. he definitely deserved that oscar. ate at bua in the claremont village with daynee. great thai food and the best thai iced tea i've ever had. go and see for yourself. shopped at american apparel (hooray for simplicity at a complex price) and watched eagle eye...which was much better than the last movie we watched together (tropic thunder). the bj's in the hills is nice...went with the usual "gratuity tax status" group of friends. the food remains the same but i'm lovin' the aesthetics of the restaurant. there will be more meals there to come for sure since people don't have to go over to brea to celebrate birthdays/graduations/whatever anymore. and yeah...i'll be more amped when the lucille's opens next door. celebrated rachel's birthday at manna in k-town. affordable all-you-can-eat bbq is love at first bite (and every bite after that). senpai said he only eats there once a year and i can understand that...it will take a whole year to recover. once more...i was blessed to enjoy a night spent in the company of the people i love with food i love doing what i love. few things are better than that if not on the same level. there were so many people there that it would be troublesome to list them all here...but you can trust me when i say they're all amazing. i literally would just stop whatever i was doing at certain times, look around, and just smile to myself knowing this was proof that i'm living a good life. the karaoke lounge idea fell through unfortunately but tracy, martin, fred, trina, and i did some impromptu karaoke in the truck on the way home. had some freshh (spell check just told me to correct that but that's the way it's spelled haha) donuts to end the night, which was astounding considering we still had enough space in our stomach to eat donuts after so much bbq. finally went to the boiling crab with sylvie, austin, tiff, marc, kevin, trina, chris, jp, nikki, tracy and jim. the wait was long but tolerable. the food was crazy delicious. i was just glad to go after so many people have talked about it and gone so i can experience it for myself. the whole shebang was definitely on point. the taste of cajun lingered for hours after the meal...for the better and for the worse. watched shutter...it was okay, a little creepy at times but it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be. dinner at ra sushi with the usual suspects. the food really isn't all that and it's severely overpriced...but happy hour makes it worthwhile for the budget-minded. the cinnamon ice cream tempura is a must. sheilla and i had an adventure that was more than a year overdue. another trip to american apparel. shabu-shabu at nabe in little tokyo. diddy riese for dessert...i've had a craving for a white chocolate chip strawberry cheesecake chunk ice cream sandwich (that was quite lengthy) for the longest time. strolled about westwood and ran into kimi. it was a good night and i was glad to catch up with the favorita...and there will definitely be more to come.

i've been enjoying life without school...though i wish things were different. i want to be in school right now, going to class and working at clinicals. but, this is what i've been dealt...so i'll obviously deal with it. i suppose this is my atonement for my lack of focus and passion, the crime of being lazy and unmotivated. i need to make the most of the time i have and the situation i'm in. turn this huge disadvantage into a much bigger advantage. i'll be where i need and want to be in time...but for now i'll have to just go with it, keep my faith and passion intact, and never stop hoping.

the best is yet to come...always.

"from nothing to something."

another friday night at home?
yessir...but don't count on it being a trend.

i can say so much right now about
what has happened recently in my life
but i'll make it simple...
if gossip girl has taught me anything
it would be this lesson:
sometimes things get in your path.
you can either smash right into them or you can adjust and move around
but you have to do one or the other
in order to move forward.

thinking ahead and thinking positive
are the first steps in the right direction.
i know my worth, my talent, and my potential...
i'm going to do better from here on out.

the rest of the year is going to be definitely interesting.

i don't quite know what's ahead of me...
but it anything that comes my way will
be another testament to la bella vita.

good night...this weekend is going to be very busy.
i'm going to need all the sleep i can get to be ready.

"relations."

i wish that kristen bell could narrate my life like she narrates gossip girl hahaha. i am definitely hooked. since yesterday...i've watched about 10 episodes out of 21. at the rate i'm going, i'll be caught up with the series just in time for tomorrow's new episode. yeah yeah...it's lame but i like the show so that's that. moving on to something more lifenewsworthy (i know it's a fake word)...i went to my nephew chris' birthday party at the civic center. i was happy to see my cousins who i haven't seen in so long. it was an interesting party because it was filled with a bunch of my nephew's friends...a high school scene in full effect which i'm no longer familiar with. guitar hero/rock band music played live by chris and his band, crazy games like fear factor, plenty of filipino food...not the usual family party but i enjoyed my time. afterwards...i went over to old town pasadena with dub just to walk around and get boba...his suggestion haha. it was super random and we only spent an hour or so there but i haven't chilled with dub like that for the longest time so it was time well spent. went to ra sushi and met up with jay for some late night feasting. ran into lynne and marcus...always a pleasure to see them and catch up. good ol' ra sushi...the unfortunate destination of scenesters and people wanting to be someplace further...say la or newport beach. shoot...i just wanted to end my night locally and on a smooth note. i went to my grandma's birthday lunch at red lobster today. once again...great to see some of my relatives since it's been awhile. lots of good food, especially two pounds of delicious snow crab. all in all...the weekend was well spent in the company of family and some cameo time with friends. until the next time...i'm off to watch more gossip girl, take care and much love!

"daybreak."

i haven't spent a friday night at home in awhile...so i suppose this is the night to change that. in fact, aside from going to costco and church, i spent most of the day at home which is something i don't often do and has been quite surprising for me. so what have i done with my time? donate clothes, reorganize items, clean my room, empty out a desk i'm giving away/demolishing (most likely...it's demolition time!), and throwing away bags full of things i don't use/need/want anymore. and when i wasn't working on that...i watched a whole lot of gossip girl, iron man, and wedding crashers which were all on youtube. viva la youtube!

and speaking of which...consider me addicted to gossip girl. i have something to look forward to on monday nights now beside football, heroes, and the occasional bowling session.

this has been an unexpectedly humbling and contemplative day for me. i've found, sorted out, and thrown away so many items in my room that have reminded me of many things in the past...accomplishments, failures, joys, and sufferings. it's been very helpful in maintaining and nurturing my focus on the present and future. we are here in the present because of what has happened in the past, and the future is what becomes of our present...and it's amazingly as simple as that and surprisingly forgettable when we get caught up. as today ends and another day begins, i've gain more perspective and more passion...which is why no matter what, tomorrow is a better day.

"background check."

went to the gym this morning...good idea indeed. i had lunch with mr. feeny at yard house. i can't complain about it: good food, good company, good conversation, good laughs...all of it free and in abundance. i found out that feeny is doing the online retreat with me as well. he decided to do it last night. i'm glad that i have someone there with me to share my thoughts and experiences during the next 34 weeks of this retreat. speaking of which...i started the retreat earlier this week on tuesday. it's already proven to be very revealing and profound as i take a introspective look into my life and the "photos" that capture the good and bad moments. i don't know what will happen with this retreat, but what i want to acheive is more discipline, self-control, and balance...all of which i struggle to maintain. life is definitely getting more...for lack of a better word...understatedly interesting.

commes de garcons have a guerrilla store in downtown los angeles...did not know about that. a guerilla store is like a pop-up store where a a fully functional store gets opened for a limited time (in this case, one year) and closes down only to appear once more somewhere else. while their clothes are great, i'm more interested about the colognes. i've heard great things about them and i want to check them out. yeah...that's so john lendl chuatuan, huh?

i remember way back before senior year of high school started i bought american apparel shirts...only to find out they didn't fit me well. years later...they do and i'm back in love haha.

if you want to watch made of honor...it's on youtube. go check it out before it eventually gets taken off for copyright purposes. and yes...it is the latest addition to my list of favorite romantic comedies. also, love me if you dare (french movie) is also on youtube. i've heard good things about it so look into that one as well...which i definitely will soon.

alright time to get back to business...good night!

"if at first you don't succeed..."

dust yourself off and try again.
aaliyah was right.

i never expected that i would have to retake a course during this nursing program...but that's exactly what happened. as much as i do not want to go through it again, i deserve this fate. after all...i spent the past six weeks without the focus, passion, and performance needed to make it through successfully. although i got my focus and passion back up to where it used to be and needs to be at the end, everything has to be considered and with that in mind...i can't continue on with my original class. however, i will be able to continue on with the next class taking neurosensory. i will have another chance to finish. it's terribly disheartening to know i've failed yet again. it's going to take more time and more effort to get my diploma and license now...but i can manage. all is not lost. in spite of such shameful and disappointing moments...i still have hope. i know i can succeed. i believe in my talent, my potential, my resolve. i know how to get back up and do the damn thing.

learning the hard way isn't the coolest way to go...but it sure is the best way in the end.

in the words of father mike...it's definitely time to get off my ass and buckle down.

"busybody."

9/9

got my car back from caliber collision...it looks better than ever. i missed my car after having to drive a lame rental car for the past week. downtown fullerton at night with arthur, tawny, sheila, phoebe, rydell, and so forth for angela's birthday. a good time for sure.
9/10

pineapple express with jen @ downtown brea. the movie was okay...at least it was better than tropic thunder. it was a very quiet and chill night, definitely what i needed to just put myself at ease and clear my mind.
9/11
car service in westco for my mom's benz...got a charger for a rental. such a big car and so much power. it was nice to get surprised looks from people on the road. caroused through ikea...getting some furniture and interior design ideas. crosstrainer meeting ---> good discussion and great adoration. much needed experience indeed. coconut bay afterwards. it's funny how it becomes a lounge @ night, complete with fog machine and bouncer. oh wait...that's more like a club haha. thai iced tea with free refills is a truly beautiful thing.
9/12
spent the day with my grandma running errands. ra sushi with matt, joyce, walter, liz, dennis, katrina, phoebe, kecee, denise, jill, and others for angela's birthday dinner. random encounters with gelo as well as jenny and her friend diana. the salmon carpacchio is on point. watched burn after reading with dennis, fred, tiff, matt, austin, sylvie, jay, and erin. danny and his girlfriend were also there...good to see him after so long. it was a random yet very hillarious movie. the coen brothers have done it again.
9/13
clinical makeup in redlands. it was a smooth shift...wasn't too busy but i learned much. lunch @ hello sushi with carol...newfound nurse friend. mr. shay is a great instructor...if only he wasn't just a part-time/weekend teacher. bj's in westco for michy's birthday with pat. it was nice to see her and all the familiar faces (merv, patty, vinny, tin, and so forth). good to meet new people (aj, greg, michelle, ralph, jill, john). chilled @ steven's house for his dad's birthday party. food was good...but the cake was better! God bless porto's.

the end.

please pray for my grandma. i found out she has an unidentifiable mass in her throat that can be cancerous. she means so much to me and my family so i hope you can keep her in your prayers.

thanks!

"falling up."

neuro final is done. i'm sure i did well enough to survive. now i can only hope for the best and that i passed. plenty of homework to do over the following days until renal begins on monday. clinical makeup on saturday in assistencia villa in loma linda. thank goodness it's closer than hemet or victorville.

in the words of tyga...i'm in love with a lifestyle i can't afford. the truth is hard to admit indeed. even before my time with starbucks ended i was having difficulty maintaining a good social life, complete with adventures and purchases. what i a fool i was to hold onto something that was slowly bringing me down...for with this lifestyle came the addiction to keep it up and keep it going at any cost, and i mean that both ways. i managed to learn my lesson and realize the truth before all hope was lost. now it's time to recover and live more simple.

i have to be more careful and thoughtful with my actions and choices. this is my life to live...but i share it with so many people, my family and my friends. what i do and say reflects upon my loved ones in some way. they have a right to be disrespected, insulted, and such if i make poor decisions and do unwise things because they have invested so much into me as i have into them. i don't need to uphold an image...but i do have honor and integrity to keep and maintain. i have done some imprudent things as of late and i do apologize for all wrong deeds...because while i never meant any negativity and i believe i was in the right context, i have to remember that this life of mine involves others...and those are people i truly and deeply love.

in batman begins...alfred repeatedly tells bruce wayne, "why do we fall? so we can learn to pick ourselves up." no matter how many times bruce failed and fell...alfred was there to help him and let him know what's up. here i am...already past the halfway mark of my nursing program and i haven't managed to instill the positive changes i wanted to make after remediating gastrointestinal. and yes...i let myself go and i fell again. however, there were people still around that care for me. though they have given me a hard time before and gave me a harder time now...they do it for my best interest. they do it so i can get up once again and be stronger. if i was to follow the movie...i can relate my situation to the point in the movie where alfred lifts bruce's spirits when wayne manor is in flames. so many things are going crazy for me right now...but i will make it through the fire. as batman saves the day...i will save myself and thrive.

it's been a very difficult and very revealing past couple of days for me.

i hope you can benefit from my thoughts and perspective and gain some insight...whether it is about my life or yours. as for me...i'm in need of a break. it's time to relax...peace!

"one more time."

the day before a final...of course i have to post an entry!

i got a early beginning to the fresh start i've been looking forward to after neuro when ms. dominguez took over the class today at clinicals. it was the change i needed heading into the finals. it was a busy day at the hospital but it was a good day...i had a great time taking care of my patients. with a new teacher, i felt better and did much better than with mrs. montes. she's still one of my favorite teachers and definitely has been a big help and inspiration to me...but i needed this change so i can continue to move along and grow. although ms. dominguez is different and new, i'm sure it's all going to work out for the better.

i feel ready to do this neurosensory final. it's the first final i've felt ready for in the longest time...and obviously it's a good feeling. i have a lot going on in my life right now but i need to ace this final and pass neuro if things are going to get any better.

one thing i forgot to mention in regards to the weekend...ray amador's birthday celebration! dromo one + norms = an awesome friday night to remember! shout out to martin aka. black flag hahahaha.

alright...more studying, more focusing. good night and please pray for me!

"living on a prayer."

for the record...the background of my blog is black not for style points but the fact that having a black background actually saves more energy than having a white background. case in point: blackle is more conserving than google (although blackle runs a google engine).

the annual harvest festival is in three weeks. no word on a trinity performance...hopefully we get to rock the stage yet again. i'm so amped for bingo...i need to search for my stamper. for the first time...i'll be running the 5k. i'm fully recovered from the human race and i'm excited to get back to running. need to return to training if i'm going to succeed at the harvest run. i've learned from mistakes during the human race and i will not repeat them. side stitches and sprained ankles are not cool...at all. and yes...i'm glad it's a 5k and not a 10k haha.

mike dub cut my hair last thursday. shortest it's ever been. i'm lovin' it...the low maintenance and simplicity of it. this was the first time i let him cut my hair...the first of many in the future for sure. shoot...whatever i can do to save money here and there.

one more day of clinical. one day left until the neurosensory final. i just want to get it over with and move on already. i know i've said it already but it needs to be repeated...this is the lowest point of the year for me...both is terms of 2008 and the school year. i've been exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally from going to hemet all the time and it's time for a change in both location and subject.

seriously...pray for me. things are only going to get rougher and tougher from here.