"auf wiedersen."

i have decided to move on to a

brand new blog.

xanga ---> livejournal ---> xanga again ---> blogspot --->

and now

you can continue to follow

my adventures, thoughts, likes and passions at

www.johnisforlovers.tumblr.com

when i started this blog in 02/2008...i had no direction to go

but up. i've had some setbacks, but i've managed to rise and

keep moving on up. i know that years from now

i'll look back at this blog and recall a time

when i was at a major crossroads in my life and endured some of the

toughest times thus far.

i've done more than survive...i've persevered and

there's still so much life to live out.

thanks for your patronage to this blog and

i hope you continue to follow me on my journey.

take care and much love - jl

"rehab."

on 11/9/2009, i will be

starting RN school at west coast university.

so much has already happened this year...

and as quick as it is going, there's still

so much that will happen before 2010 arrives.

i'm especially concerned with the next

two or so months before school begins again for me.

last year i was in a similar position.

i had two or so months before i went

back to school. as i am now...i don't have

a job and whatever money comes my way

is hard to hold on to.

i find it a struggle to fill my days with

content that makes me feel productive

with how i'm living my life out.

the main difference aside

from being in a much more positive

situation is that the next two months

of vacation this time around

were born out of my success and not my failure.

as it stands...september and october will be

spent rediscovering who i am.

i got so caught up with all the action this year

that i lost myself in the mix and

i denied it with a smile and a sense of hope.

a false hope...or rather an incomplete hope.

truth is, i'm not completely happy

with who i am right now.

i'm blessed and thankful to have

amazing family and friends, means

of sustenance, my possessions, luxuries,

and the gift of life itself.

however, i'm not totally alright with

myself and that has affected

everything i'm passionate for...

what i've mentioned already and then some.

i thought keeping to myself

this past weekend would help

make things better,

but i believe God is telling me i need

more time to heal, repair, etc.

i'm moving at the speed of life.

my answers, my cure, my hope will

come to me at same speed as well.

i just gotta keep moving along and

working on myself.

pray for me...

because this fall is looking to be

challenging, successful, tiring, interesting,

legen...wait for it...

dary! - jl

p.s. i'm slowly transitioning to a tumblr account...stay tuned for details.

"extraordinary feat of romance."

tom tom club isn't the only genius of love.

giving props to ted mosby - jl

"run the city...again."

the nike human race come back for round 2 to los angeles.

i'm sure there won't be as much flare or flash this time around

(kanye will be nowhere to be found).

i'm excited for it and i'll be training for it come september.

the thrill of the chase returns - jl

"aria, shar, lauren, kelly, chelsea."

i didn't think i'd be a fan of another girl group

after the spice girls...but the paradiso girls

come around and prove me wrong.

there's something about the song

(and definitely something about the video)

that has me and the other guys in love with them.

crazy horse comes out late summer.

from what's already been leaked out...

it's going to be a good cd.

chelsea korka had my heart at 3:22 - jl

"art in action."

shaun evaristo could single-handedly inspire me back into dancing.

bow in the presence of greatness - jl

"too sweet."

i'll never look at a

jack o' lantern the

same away again - jl

"10."

simply put...here's my top 10 active athletes.

rafael nadal > roger federer.

eric koston is the reason why i got

into the skateboard culture...

meeting him at active in brea was a great experience.

peyton manning is proof there's (a wonderful)

life after johnny unitas for the colts.

david beckham made me fall in love with the beautiful game.

i'm still a fan...regardless of how the riot squad feels about him.

hines ward is the reason why i became a steelers fan.

the spider is definitely on point...

the way he brought dan henderson down was vicious

and he made beating forrest griffin look effortless.

tiger woods is the only reason i watch golf.

russell martin is

my favorite player

on my favorite baseball team.

ronaldinho = joga bonito.

and of course...

the black mamba...

nothing else needs to be said.

motivated to just keep doing it - jl

"my life...or something like it."

right down to the wire...even through the fire - jl

"a good day indeed."

car washed.

stella rosa and red velvet at the galvan residence.

ana's going away party...

seeing some long lost friends.

dim sum with the family.

pleasantries from the leelins.

ra with the homies.

and everything sweet in between...

i gotta thank God.

good night world - jl

"from trashy to classy."

this is the reason why i'm still awake.

ryan leslie is a genius!

it's finally time to sleep - jl

"late nights are made for slow jams."

okay, so some aren't slow jams...

but they're great to listen to in the 

early parts of the a.m.

the dream - i'm not ok

gwen stefani - 4 in the morning

twista - wetter

kings of leon - use somebody

ciara - promise (lukewarm midnight remix)

tydis feat. chingy - she make me say

coldplay - fix you

shiny toy guns - seasons of love

the dream - put it down

the fray - look after you

trey songz - takes time to love

kleerup feat. lykke li - until we bleed

angie stone - wish i didn't miss you

u2 - city of blinding lights

lloyd feat. the dream - i need love 

westlife - i wanna grow old with you

ryan leslie - gibberish

radiohead - idiotheque 

mario feat. the dream - boomin' it

and a personal favorite...

gwen stefani - the real thing (bonus remix)

in the mood - jl

"fiya."

it's monday night and here i am reminiscing on the

swag flu epidemic 

that was this past weekend's vegas trip.

i'm definitely sure that there were thousands more with

more money, a more equal male-female ratio, better hotel,

better amenities, and such...

but let it be known to all that my three days in vegas

with pat, christian, genevee, devyn, ana, tiff, 

jee, mike b, stephen, lala, jennie, ashley, and fred

was amazing.

it was also a pleasure to chill with

maddie, dub, matt, brent, paul, betty, jay,

james, wes, and all others who spent a little time

with us, ran into us, and/or made a one-night turnaround.

i'll cherish the memories of...

- arthur's driving tunes.

- steak and eggs at bill's gambling hall.

- fat tuesdays @ caesars.

- living it up at jet on friday night.

- taxi ride and car conversations.

- bootleg badcast sessions.

- soulja boy's "turn my swag on."

- relaxing at parasol down at the wynn

- the awesomeness that was XS.

- hotel room laughs.

- almost 4 hours of lunch/dinner at wynn buffet.

- attending mass and confession at the guardian angel cathedral.

i needed a vacation like this and i've been waiting to go on one 

since i graduated.  i'm blessed and fortunate to be safe and have

great friends to enjoy this trip with.

but alas, it was only a mere getaway...not an escape.  

i'm fully recovered and ready to improve the quality,

experience, and (hopefully) duration of this adventure

called life and its daily grind.

here's to job hunting, reviewing for the nclex, and 

getting ready for RN school!

there is no cure for the swag flu - jl

"her name is olivia."

say hello to my little (and brand new) friend...

i named it after a pair of my two favorite eye candies haha.

being reminded of musiq's "newness" - jl

"nyquil...where art thou?"

having a cold during the summer is so troublesome.

i can't help my grandma out or

visit my grandpa at his nursing care facility.

i can't work out at the gym and stay fit.

i can't eat normal portion meals.

i can't go to san francisco this weekend

with rachel, brent, paul, and arthur.

my aim to be productive this summer is certainly

off the mark at the moment.

i hope to get better as soon as possible.

i'm getting as much rest as i can and

relying on vitamins to raise me up.

i missed out on the bay area trip...

but i will not miss out on vegas.

i'm will not miss out on this adventure.

straight illin' - jl

"industry versus inferiority."

the first full week of my summer vacation has arrived.

it comes after an eventful weekend that included the death anniversary of paulo, a reunion with brother eric burke, the baptism of my niece ever marian, and kabalikat society's first annual philippine independence day festival...all of which were amazing times.

and then monday comes along to remind me that the weekend comes only as it implies in its name...at the end of the week. 5 days of what used to be filled with 40 hours of school and about 8 hours of driving is no longer my weekeday reality. it's really some kind of irony...i dreaded my school schedule for the past 18 months but now when i have so much time on my hands, i long for being productive and learning. i need to find things to do now...to make the weekdays worthwhile.

i will not end up a nobody, wasting my life away when the world yearns to be explored, when the community desires service, and loved ones seek affirmation through experiences.

my elevator is only heading up - jl

"hot pursuit."

some people spend their time chasing paper.

the los angeles police chased oj in a white bronco.

tom chased jerry, sylvester chased tweety,

wild e. coyote chased the road runner,

and boss hogg chased the general lee

all over hazzard county.

there are those who chase their dreams

while others go about chasing one another.

silent bob chased amy.

there are even people chasing pavements.

whatever you're chasing...

make sure it's real.

make sure you're passionate about it.

make sure it's worthwhile.

otherwise...why bother?

finding sense in insomnia - jl

"my heart is racing."

i want to run...

and smash into you.

finding myself willing to be in love - jl

"distance."

i don't really say it out loud...

but i'm hoping that i'm doing something

every day that brings me closer to her.

gone fishing - jl

"finally."

july 7, 2009.

the day i've been waiting the past 18 months for.

the last day i would spend at concorde career college.

my graduation day.

the time went by so quickly that i'm still settling into

the fact that i am finally done with that school. i succeeded

in doing what i set out to do. i had a couple setbacks,

disappointments, and failures. i made a whole lot

of sacrifices and i've been broken down and put

back together in a whole other way...

but here i am now as

john lendl lachica chuatuan, VN.

i'm finally a nurse...a dream come true.

i can't wait to take my licensure exam in the fall

to add a L to that VN.

in the meantime...my summer has finally begun.

i look forward to going on vacations, adventures, and so forth.

i also look forward to spending more time with friends.

i'm in need of a job until i take my exam...so the hunt begins now for one.

the next 2-3 months will be great...

and i'm going to cherish the time because

RN school is already on the horizon for me.

but for now, i'm lovin' the feeling of being...

free.

being a nurse feels damn good - jl

and by the way...

happy birthday paulo...party it up in Heaven.

"mistakes (i wish) i knew i was making."

last night was not a good night for me.

i won't say i'll never do what i did again

because you should never say never...

but i'll be more definite and say

that there will not be another instance of my

imprudent behavior manifesting as such.

i've come so far to be perceived as legit...

i won't throw it all away or be naive to

the risks of my seemingly harmless choices.

thanks to everyone who helped me out and

kept me from (literally and figuratively) falling...

i know more than ever that i've invested in the right

people...the right friends.

recovery never hurt so good - jl

"what it is right now."

so far gone.

i concur with the masses...mixtape of the year.

bones.

i just got into this show recently...and now i realize i have been seriously missing out on something great. clever scripts, intriguing twists, great cast and chemistry...tv continues its efforts to keep me from leaving house.

and speaking of which...

house.

next to grey's anatomy...this is the best medical drama on tv. outstanding performances and plots. hugh laurie is ingenious. the characters and the struggles they are defined by are genuinely inspiring. however, it seems that every diagnosis has to dabble with lupus haha. i stop everything to watch this show whenever it comes on, not to mention that i'm crushing on...

olivia wilde.

there is life after the oc. she definitely lives up to the saying "an ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance." a talented and smart actress without a doubt, she also happens to be my inspiration when i work out, along with...

megan fox.

news flash! i think she's hot...just like almost every guy does. that's all i have to say about that.

us soccer.

i love soccer...i've been a fan since elementary school. i love the united states of america...so much i became a citizen. us soccer? i'm a supporter but the team has endured years of embarassing play...at the olympics, in exhibition, in fifa tournaments. those losses left me without a belief in them. but now...after whomping on spain and going head-to-head with brazil in this past confederations cup, i'm starting to believe again that a nation where football isn't soccer and is considered a second-rate sport can show the rest of the world that we can play the beautiful game as well as they can. ole, ole, ole, ole!

michelle williams.

the gospel girl breaks out. the least popular child of destiny comes

out with some fire on this song...definitely digable.

mosun.

my friends and i come here only once in a while because it's just that special. great environment, great location, great sushi specials, and the some of the best fusion sushi rolls. worth the drive every time and i never fail to have a good time here. apparently leanne rhimes and eddie cibrian agree hehehe.

alexa chung.

on point across the pond...and even better stateside. it's on with alexa chung! is the reason why i go home for my lunch breaks whenever possible. artistic, witty, stylish,

socially and politically aware, and oh so sweet. if you can't tell by now...i'm in love.

2010 volkswagen gti.

eventually, my time with my corolla will come to an end. as much as i appreciate the car...it is still not as durable or safe as i would like my automobiles to be. faulty power locks and a weak engine are things that don't help me drive with a greater peace of mind for sure. i need something faster, more practical, more convenient, more dependable, and safer. this is where this small wonder comes into picture. german engineering with the quality to go along with it, affordable, and suits me quite well. das auto indeed.

signing out - jl

"euphoria."

...and it's true!

you make me feel alive.

here's to exploring the beauty of life - jl

"HIStory is forever."

rest in peace michael jackson.



you're the one who taught me what pop (and music) is all about...introduced me to dancing and helped me to find my rhythm. i wouldn't be the same without you. i'm still in shock about your passing and i'm incredibly sad because i had a lot of love for you and all the good music you've provided the world with. may angels lead you in, king of pop.

in your honor...mj, this one's for you!






never can say goodbye - jl

"taking it easy."

this past week of school has been overall...unnecessary. don't get me wrong, i've learned a couple of new things at the corona clinic i'm interning at but the days just seem to drag on since i already passed my exit exam and there's not really much work to do anymore. i would be preparing for my community nursing final next wednesday, but it's open book. there's really no more challenges standing in my way of graduation. while it does feel good and i'm experiencing a peace of mind that is utterly cherishable...i wish my class could just have the days until july 7 off to reflect and recover. oh well, i guess that's what the rest of summer is for.

the most fortunate aspect of my current situation is that i have more time after school to unwind and chill since there's nothing to study for. and so...venturing from corona or san bernardino, i've found myself eating at yojie's with the ace family in cerritos, catching up with jenny over some long overdue panera bread, and gallivanting through melrose and eating at dolce with jen (which by the way is very much overrated...it's no wonder why they're closing down. at least everything was 50% off and i got to see what the hype was about). this is just a taste of what's to come for me this summer and i'm getting more and more excited for it. i have all summer long to catch up with friends and engage this beautiful life with more adventures. it reminds me of that sleepy brown song...




i can't wait, can't wait! - jl

"triumphant."

the past 72 hours or so have been very turbulent. i went to disneyland twice, enjoyed the awesomeness that is claws, and visited starbucks butterfield & pine on its closing day...farewell best workplace thus far. while these are all good moments...the definite highlight is that i passed my exit exam! this was the last huge obstacle on the way to graduating from concorde. i've been stressed all week because of it. the test was scheduled for thursday morning. i spent all wednesday night studying like crazy for it and 1,908 itunes songs later...i arrived at school only to find out that it was postponed to friday morning due to distracting noises from construction work. it turned out to be a blessing as i had more time to put myself at ease and rock it on the exam. passing the ERI affirms my confidence in becoming a nurse and has definitely proven that the past 18 months of school, with all its sacrifices, struggles, and failures, have been worth it. i can now look forward to graduating on july 7 without any more substantial complications. i am truly living a blessed life!

feeling like kobe right about now - jl

"beauty in the breakdown."

graduation season is a difficult time for me. for the past two years or so...i've been a witness to my friends moving on from college and onto bigger and better things. as for me, i'm still trying to get out of the mess i made out of my college life. the second and third year of college was a complete and utter disaster...i dug a hole that kept getting deeper and i couldn't find a way out of it. i'm more than fortunate and blessed to have loved ones who support me and are helping me find my way back to redemption and success. graduations right now are a reminder of my disappointment, but at the same time i'm inspired by my friends and i'm overjoyed for their truly epic achievement. it is during these moments that i just need to keep working hard and realize that my time to shine will eventually come.

i'm most likely going to get my bachelor's in 8 years...and i don't give a f@#% about what people say. i know i was a college dropout. i know that i failed time and time again...but that was then and this is now. i'm a better, smarter, stronger person because of what i've endured. i took my education, passion, and intelligence for granted...never again will that happen. people can criticize the road i'm taking to earn success, but they can't take away from my lessons learned, the strong bonds i made, and the character i've built up to get to this point in life.

this weekend alone has been tough. people may not notice, but i've constantly been close to the point of tears because of the degree of stress and pressure i'm under. i have my pediatrics final on tuesday morning and my super crucial exit exam on thursday. the former will determine if i get an A in maternal/child health...the latter will decide if july 7 is going to be a reality for me. however, i've found the courage, strong will, and hope to break through my challenges. i got confession at St. Denis and studied with rach, i went to tiff's graduation and celebrated at coconut bay, and my sister came home today to have lunch. it was a definite highlight of the year and pick-me-up to have a meal with the complete family. she also told me that she can attend my graduation! that alone gave me the strength to hold my head up a little higher.

to make everything so much more awesome...





the los angeles lakers are the 2009 nba world champions. amazing happens in la all day.

i don't know how this week is going to turn out for sure. i do know this week will be a tough week...but i'm much tougher.



if kobe can redeem himself and win again...then i can get through this week and redeem myself.


victory or bust - jl

"survival of the fittest."

the past 24 hours have been rough and challenging. aside from the commute to victorville and back and being in a very slow postpartum department for 5 hours, i took a nclex practice exam for child health last night that took me about 6 hours to complete...all 364 questions. i have a project due in 2 hours that i still need to start on (my teacher sure knows how to push my class' buttons) and i have an exam this morning to go along with it. to round it all off...i only got 3 or so hours of sleep and i've been running on a blend of capri sun and coca-cola to get me by.

i already knew this was going to be the hardest two weeks of the year but damn...i didn't think i'd be missing my sleep this much or have so much work to deal with. if i can make it to the end of this day and ultimately get to the weekend completing all the things that needs to be done...i'll be assured more than ever that i got what it takes to be a nurse and graduate.

bringing it on (and trying not to fall asleep) - jl

"coming clean."

getting a haircut has time and time again proven to be a great way to reset myself. i think a lot of people can agree. seeing and feeling centimeters and inches of hair get snipped away not only takes weight off your head, but your mind as well. i got a trim about 30 minutes ago and i already feel better than i did beforehand.

i had ichikawa and lucille's bbq with my parents for dinner the past couple of nights. great times indeed. i'm happy to say that something out of 2009 i can cherish is how i'm spending more time again with my parents. for the past couple of years, i chose to make sharing a meal with my parents a scarce occurrence in response to my desire to live a more social life. silly of me then, but now i've come to realize it all starts with family. i've got the rest of my life to cherish my social life and anyone else that comes into my life, but for now...i'll enjoy my moments with my parents while i still can.

i watched the hangover with dub, mike b, and arthur last night...amazingly hillarious movie, the best i've seen since stepbrothers and i love you, man. 2 hours or so of the greatest laughs ever produced. this has definitely become one of my favorite comedies. if you haven't watched it...you need to. it's good for the soul.

since the beginning of may, i've been discerning medical school. i've dreamed of being a physician ever since i was a kid. i even had a a shirt saying in tagalog "when i grow i'm going to be a doctor." i wanted to practice internal medicine like my dad. alas, i grew up and through life experiences decided on becoming a nurse instead. oddly enough...it is in my clinicals to be a nurse that i have rekindled my desire to be a doctor. there's a lot of sacrifice (financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) to be made if i'm to pursue this dream. the fact that i'll be in my mid 30's when i finish my residency is a daunting. and i still love nursing and will always love it. i could live the rest of my life overjoyed being a nurse. oh well...i've got a long way to discern and plenty of time to make a choice.

either way...it's going to be dr. john chuatuan, d.n.p. or dr. john lendl chuatuan, m.d.

providing healthcare until death - jl

"this is the real thing."

a month away now from graduation and almost done with maternal/child health, i find myself in a funk...and not the george clinton kind of funk. in the past week, i got a 77% on the first half of my final and a 76% on a peds test. in the class, i have a 84%...my lowest grade since january. perhaps it's the fact that i'm so close to graduating that i've slipped up a bit. maybe it's because i know i'm going to pass that i'm getting a little overconfident. whatever the reason is, i need to step it up...now is not the time to fall. i have three more exams this coming week and i take the second half of the final on june 16. to make things more stressful...i take the exit exam, aka. the final obstacle before graduation, on june 18.

ah...june gloom never felt so exact.

however, i've come too damn far to not excel now. seriously, i used to be a year or so away from graduation. it's become a month and soon it will be days away from july 7. this is not the time to back down from adversity. it's only fitting that the lakers are in the finals right now against the magic. i'm in my own kind of finals...i need to win and come out a champion. my time is here, my time is now. i can still get an A in maternal/child health...and i will pass that exit exam.

one of the many things i've learned during my time in nursing school is that
if you can't accept it...CHANGE it.

any time is the right time to make a difference and make something good happen.

changing things up - jl

"nights spent living."

this memorial day weekend was definitely all about how i invested into the evening. when the sun was out...i was resting at home, working out, washing my car, watching house and law & order, and cleaning around. at night...i went to nicole's debut in rancho cucamonga, lounged it up at dba with the homies for rachel's graduation celebration, enjoyed the awesomeness that is love, resonate and dined at bj's, and kicked it at josh's going away bbq. at a time where days are being filled up with big events and things are happening so quickly...it was nice to enjoy a peaceful and chill weekend.

on a random note...i'm getting excited the vacations to come in the summer/fall time. san francisco for sure. nyc is a possibility. las vegas once or twice is a must. the philippines stands a chance. london and paris are barely probable but still possible. after a year and a half at concorde...i could definitely go on some adventures. july 7...come sooner!

waiting to exhale - jl

"harder, better, faster, stronger."

hours spent around newborn babies inspires so much contemplation. these babies are just starting their lives...so much uncertainty around them. you can only catch glimpses of their future through their parents and family. i look at my own life and i ask myself...

"when did i grow up?"

how did i grow up? seriously...where has the time gone? how did i go from being generally care-free last year to taking care of new lives and people in need? my older friends are getting married and/or starting families of their own. others are graduating and moving on to higher education or the beginning of their careers. vocations are being made for a lifetime. i'm going to be a nurse along with the rest of my peers by the time fall arrives. experiences and moments best savored in slow-motion but are lived in a blur.

i find my answer in the father holding his child for the very first time, tears coming down his face with the biggest smile possible. i know it through the classmates i spend 40 hours a week with...and my family and friends that have the rest of my time. i got it by looking at nurses assessing their patients, making small talk with them throughout the day. i realize through every small act of kindness throughout the hospital and on the streets. it's just like the beatles' song...

love, love, love.

in every moment i witnessed love, experienced it, created it, invested into it, multiplied it, divided it, lived it, shared it...i grew up. i have glimpses of each moment by looking at my family, my friends...all my loved ones. i see it through strangers and familiar faces alike. their lives, their love, my love is a confirmation and affirmation of my growth.

everyone gets older, not everyone grows.
love is the only thing that makes that possible.

however fast it happened...i'm blessed to be aware of it. as i continue to grow...i pray that the love in my life gets stronger, keeps maturing. no matter the challenges on the way, no matter the experiences that occur, no matter of the uncertainties that the future provides...i'll keep loving.

as john legend would put it...
where do we go?
who knows...
but each day gets better.

love extraordinarily, grow extraordinarily - jl

"the best is yet to come."

the lakers have just whomped the rockets once and for all this season. this has just been one of many highlights this past weekend. i got to chill with my dad in little tokyo and enjoy a great lunch at shabu shabu house...the original is still the best (but yojies is my favorite...family ties ya dig). even though plans for gyu-kaku ultimately failed on friday...dub, jee, matt, fred, arthur, and i had quite the exquisite seafood dinner at king's fish house.

i finally watched the wrestler, seven pounds, and last chance harvey. i recommend all these movies for your viewing pleasure. superb storytelling and acting with plenty of lessons to learn along the way to the closing credits.

the crosstrainer end-of-the-year party went down last night and it was good to see everyone chill out and eat to their hearts' content...thanks to the taco lady. it's been a different kind of season for me since i didn't go on any retreats and i had to focus more on school but it's been a spiritually rewarding one for me nevertheless. i look forward to coming back next season in full force.

i started maternal/child health on may 13, and at this point in our journey to be nurses, my class is starting to see the finish line. we're less than 8 weeks away from graduation. i'll save my thoughts on concorde for a better time. i'm just excited knowing that starting this week...we're going into full acute-care mode. that is definitely good news as we don't have to drive ridiculous distances to perform long-term care anymore. i've learned much from those experiences but it's time to move on and learn more things...and for that i'm happy.

july 7 is slowly becoming a reality.

anxious but focused - jl

"it's a celebration, b@#%#es!"

i apologize for being m.i.a. but may has been a very busy and exciting month so far. after a year without one, i got another disney pass when i went there for charlene's birthday. i spent the afternoon at disneyland after clinicals in sun city with charlene (of course), achi, crystal, tiff, pat, christian, sibs, yambeezy, big ray, fred, matt, martin, meagan, jibs, and katrina. i don't know why i didn't renew my pass earlier haha. i forgot how much fun i had going. another may 8 has passed i'm now 22. i celebrated my birthday in a peaceful and pleasant way at home with family and friends. enough noise and good vibes to make it a party but just the right amount of everything else to set it apart. thanks to everyone who came and showed some love. anavie was not in attendance because on may 7...she gave birth to ever marian leelin! i'm so happy for her and mike and i can't wait to visit them and see ever. she's going to be the closest thing to having a niece for me. speaking of which, my sister left for the carmelites on may 9. my family and sibs, nikki, and charlene went over to the Sacred Heart retreat house in alhambra to drop her off. we met a couple of the sisters there and i must say that they are quite amazing. an hour over there convinced me why my sister chose the carmelites. as sad as i am to see her leave...i'm happy that she's finding her niche to serve God in a whole new, better, and bigger way. i can only hope she'll be happy and lead a more fulfilling life with this vocation. later on that day, i went over to swasdee's for aimee's graduation dinner with pat and tiff...only to find out she wasn't there yet. as much as we wanted to wait for her to arrive, we had to make our way over to manna in k-town for matt's birthday dinner so we left. manna was dope as always...good and enormous amounts of food. matt got drenched twice in champagne. the usual laughs and good times. i don't think i'll have korean bbq for awhile haha. mother's day this year was unique. less than 24 hours after we dropped off my sister at the carmelite house, my family visited her to attend the may crowning ceremony. it was a beautiful experience that i was glad to be a part of. from the rosary to the mass...it was a seized opportunity to cherish the awesomeness that is the Catholic faith. last night for the first time in a long time...kp, nick, christian, matt, big ray, and i went monday night bowling. i miss the days when we used to go every week but i'm glad that we still go when there's time in our busy (and getting busier) lives. today...i spent my day off from school having lunch with aimee and dub. we went over to ichikawa at the commons for some shabu shabu. it was aimee's first time eating shabu shabu and i'm happy to have made her a fan. it was our first time eating there and i must say it's not too shabby. good environment and good service. i wouldn't mind coming back. we got our dessert fix at yogurtland and proceeded to spend the next hour sitting and relaxing on the bench outside mesmerized by the dancing water fountain haha. ah...the simple joys in life we take for granted. summer is supposed to start next month but things are already heating up...get ready or you might get burned.

peace and love - jl

"in the still of the night."

no one can control time.

sometimes, we want to stop it for a little while to enjoy a cinematic moment or take a break from a stressful period. other times, we just want to speed it up to get through some rough moment or arrive at some beautiful destination in our lives already. it's utterly ironic that when we surrender ourselves to life...time slows down and we get the miraculous opportunity to cherish a moment in life. we have a chance to know all there is to know about that moment and memorize it to the fullest.

when we stop trying to control the time in our lives...
we have the time of our lives.

here's one of the numerous examples life has given me...

i spent my friday night with fred, dub, arthur, mike b, matt, jay, and jee eating at yojie's shabu shabu in cerritos. it was a simple yet great time with the homies over a good (and large and crazy delicious) serving of food and drinks. there was nothing extraordinarily special about this experience. it was like many of our other numerous adventures and gatherings. there was a moment during the night where i took a rest from dining and just reclined at my chair. i looked around the half-circle we were dining in and i got a panoramic view of everyone else. dub, jay, matt, and arthur to my right with jee, mike b, and fred to my left. everyone was eating, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. i'm sure they all had their current challenges, problems, and such...but i didn't see that when i looked at them. everyone was simply...happy. i was happy, too. it was at this point where i stopped caring so much about everything else but the joy i felt in the present and everything that belonged to that moment...that time slowed down and i was able to truly and absolutely appreciate this night with friends.

the moment when i'm doing what i love with the people i love...

this is where amazing happens.

"this could mend a broken heart."

and just to ensure i made my point...



okay i'm done...good night for real real. - jl

"clash of the titans."

i study at both barnes and noble and borders. i used to study a lot at borders...then "converted" to barnes and noble once it opened. i studied once again at borders this afternoon and was inspired to come up with this list...enjoy!

barnes and noble:
a classier vibe...i feel intellectually
inspired every time i'm there.
st. paul is (kinda...not really) across the street.
better magazine selection.
better book selection.
more people = a socially warmer environment.
better selection of moleskine notebooks.
xxi forever (okay, heritage1981 for men) is a walk away.
cleaner bathrooms.
feels safer.
more options for food.
opens earlier, closes later.
study at the right time and you can enjoy
the happy hour at yard house and ra as well.
cheesecakes from the cheesecake factory.
quotable (the brand) cards and accessories.
borders:
has a seattle's best...their green tea lattes are on point.
nordstrom rack is a walk away.
it's closer to target...a definite plus.
easier to navigate.
less people = more peace.
better parking.
i get discount coupons every week.
customer service is more accessible.
usually cheaper book prices.
doesn't have pesky high school kids
clamoring about and being so...high schoolish.
higher chance of finding study space.
better presentation of bestsellers and new books.
has been dependable source of gifts during
the holidays and other special occasions.

---------------------------------------------



these three soldiers ran the boston marathon.

let me go into detail...

they did it in full uniform, gear, pack, and boots.
they finished in 3 hours, 31 minutes, and 41 seconds.

shoot, i can only finish 6 miles in about an hour so i can
definitely understand what an amazing feat this was.
just wanted to share this example
of human endurance and perseverance.


good night world - jl

"on/off."

on point:
sigg water bottles.
barca fc.
nike shoes with flywire.
target.
pastrami.
marvin gaye "got to give it up."
american apparel t-shirts.
rey mysterio jr.
dole whip from disneyland and the dole plantations.
mr. rodriguez.
ananas (pineapple) gelato...
the closest thing to dole whip.
the los angeles dodgers...russell martin ftw.
cheesecakes from the cheesecake factory.
tom ford.
love, resonate.
gossip girl (people got to stop hating on it).
sportie la.
tony's little italy in placentia.
ray j "sexy ladies."
disneyland annual passes...and the monthly payments.
wingstop fries and lemon pepper wings.
hines ward and the pittsburgh steelers.
pineapple express...i seenth it!
seared salmon with miso sauce.
all-you-can-eat korean bbq.
the los angeles lakers....mamba time.
cajun fries and corn on the cob at boiling crab.
rafael nadal...agassi v2.0.
monte cristo sandwiches.
ninjas.
off the mark:
the boston celtics.
ed hardy.
ra for any reason other than
work/happy hour/special occasion.
all-over print (leave it to the luxury brands).
roger federer (he is damn good though).
salami...something about it just isn't right for me.
j. crew during the late spring/summer season.
jeff jarrett.
flo-rida "you spin me right round."
shemagh/keffiyeh scarves worn out of the
proper cultural context.
planned parenthood.
pcns with the wrong social agenda.
chivas usa.
anchor blue.
air jordan ii, viii, x, xx...sorry mj.
america's next top model.
true religion.
the lack of a men's h&m at the shoppes.
ms. duncan.
the excessive use of leggings.
famous stars and straps.

"we want re-up! we want re-up! yeah!"

last night...i went to the shoppes to study at barnes and noble. there's nothing quite like reading up on mental health while listening to placido domingo (it's an absolute must to check out one of the greatest opera singers of all time) and the fray (their latest, self-titled cd is impressive). it was at this moment that i realized i've rediscovered the joy of learning...the pursuit of education. i thought i rediscovered many times over in the past couple of years. it's been since early high school i must unfortunately admit that i've felt this way. the thrill of wanting to earn an A and then the elation that comes with getting it. i haven't had the feeling in so long, i've forgotten how much i loved it. then again, it's ironic that i lost something i loved so much to begin with. anyways...it's good to be back in (that kind of) love.

"rise."

i'm (officially) back from my lenten hiatus.
i realized how much i missed
posting thoughts and all sorts of nonsense.

here's a quick update on what i was up to during lent...
manna with devyn, tiff, and arthur. sojuboytellem.
element for aimee and tracy's birthday.
sponsor-candidate retreat.
usc pacn...don't worry, usc is still wack.
chat sum bul with jay. i'm seriously lovin' korean bbq right now.
roscoes at pasadena.
roscoes again and yogurtland with vanessa in the lbc.
jee's birthday dinner.
claremont/pomona gallivanting with dub, jee, betty, and chris.
anavie's baby showers
at the dy residence and mccoy's equestrian center.
kim's birthday celebration at d&b's.
met pacquaio and mayor antonio villiargosa.
cleaned up the streets of historic filipinotown
with the kabalikat society.
joshie's birthday at yard house.
chili's and stinger's for tanya's birthday.
ribs night at the leelin residence...props to mike juloya.
r.i.p. jon saligumba.

so basically...i ate a lot of good food with a lot of good people
for a lot of different and good reasons.

for the most part, lent was a relatively peaceful time for me. it had its crazy moments but i feel as if it's going to be the calm before storm. a lot of pcns and the confirmation ceremonies are happening this month. a plethora of birthdays await in may...especially my own. my sister is leaving for the carmelites in less than a month...the same amount of time until anavie is due to give birth to ever marian. a grip of people are graduating this spring/summer which means a lot of ceremonies and celebrations. and slowly but surely...i'm getting closer to my graduation date of july 7. during lent, i learned to be a little more simple and humble. i realized the urgency of becoming a nurse and growing up so i can start the rest of my life already.

"you are only starting on your path to success." that's what my fortune cookie said today at lunch. yessir...i will take what i've experienced in lent to produce a great aftermath.

"pacemaker."

one night only in lent...i have returned to express my thoughts on the recent passing of my brother in Christ,

jon saligumba.

i know so little of your death at this moment, but i knew your beautiful life and that is what matters most. it is a great misfortune of mine to have another retreatant, another student of mine leave this earth so abruptly. you were definitely one of my favorites, something i would never have shared publicly if you were still around. you inspired me to keep serving the Lord, to keep making a positive difference in spite of any hardship or suffering. i remembered that you loved to sing and dance...you lived a passionate life. i remember you being a peaceful soul, easy to get along with and easy to become friends with. you were so open to loving and eager to show it to the people in your life. you were a remarkable person and it was a definite pleasure and honor to have served you with austin in your faith journey.

i will be simple in my expression...i am very saddened by your death and i will mourn you. this much i can take comfort in, have hope for...that you will become an angel for all of us that are still here. that we now have another blessed soul who will watch over us and deliver God's grace to us. all of us here who knew and loved you will become closer in life because of yours. that is what i think is the most beautiful memento anyone can leave behind...a multiplication of love after death.

jon, in the moments we feel sadness due to your demise, in the times our hearts are struggling to endure such sorrow and pain...help us persevere. if not by your memory, then by your soul in Heaven let your love, your heart keep us going strong. give us the strength we need to make it through.

i will smile knowing you will no longer feel pain, sadness, suffering. you are in a much better place. your soul no longer has to bear the pressures of this world and will only experience the great love and joy only Heaven can provide. you no longer have to hope like us for the sincere and ultimate happiness Christ promises each and everyone of us...you are there. i don't know if this was to be your time...but i leave that thought and you in the hands of our God. your absence now leaves a space in all our lives, but our love for you will fill the void in due time.

i will continue to pray for you and all your loved ones.




i won't believe "in anything that brings you home to me." i will believe in anything that brings you home to Him.

thank you jon for everything...especially your final act of charity. what is it? your escalation to Heaven lets me know why i choose life, why i choose love every day...and why i never regret that.

may you rest in peace my brother...vaya con Dios. amen.