"redeemed."

this has to be the lowest point
for me with my nursing schooling.
i got the lowest score on a final yet.
i have to remediate now
which means i continue on but i have to
retake the g.i. final and
do well on it this time around.
not going on the camping trip
did not make a difference at all.
but then again...
i know it's my fault and i let this happen to me.
now it's time to make things right again.

i went to morning mass today.
i haven't attended a morning mass in months...
ever since i started the nursing program.
i was quite fond of it when i used
to go frequently so it was good to go for once.
i ran into lauren...i literally have not seen her
or heard from her in months so that was
a pleasant surprise. last time i saw her...
it wasn't under the best circumstances but
it's all good...we best be chillin' soon for real real.
i waited for about an hour for confession.
it was uncomfortable waiting in line and
i was very close to just leaving and trying again later.
but...i knew that i had to do it now or never.
my confession turned out to be
the best one i've had all year perhaps.

let me rewind.
this past monday....
my partner cherisse and i were talking
to the son of one of our patients
who was a marine.
i don't know how the conversation came about
but he talked to us about how
hard and grueling it was in boot camp
and all his other experiences.
he told us that though he did cry at times...
he never let his peers or superiors see him
broken down. he refused to let
them break him down somehow someway.

in regards to my current situations...
i feel as if the reality of remediating g.i.
has made me realize that this nursing program
has indeed broken me. it's taken so much of me
to continue on and it's an everyday challenge
just to make it to the next day...the next lesson.
on the way home from taking my final...
i felt like crying but nothing happened.
no matter how much i tried...there was no results.

then...the earthquake occured moments later and that
reminded me that my life is literally being shaken up
because i needed a reality check.
mother nature and mrs. montes made sure to give me one.

during confession
and after i confessed my sins...
the priest tells me something that really got to me:

"it is good of you to admit your brokenness and come here
before God as a broken man...because it is in
that brokenness you will find redemption."

and so my redemption begins today.
it's a tough road (definite understatement)
ahead of me but i'm on my way to build myself up again.
this time around...i'll be stronger and wiser.
remediation will not happpen again to me.
i'll make damn sure of that.

-------------------------------------------

here's how my last school break until september has been going:

ate at the curry house with christian, pat, steven,
stephen, mike b, arthur, jay, marlene, zye, dennis,
anavie, mike leelin, marc, andrew, austin, and sylvie.
yeah...we roll deep.
we watched the dark knight on imax afterwards...
10x better than normal screen.
i suggest you do so if you haven't already.

finally gave my car a proper car wash. months overdue.
my car looks frrrresh. i don't care if it's a corolla...i'm lovin' it.

attended meagan's surprise birthday dinner with fred and devyn.
it was at the cliff restaurant in laguna beach...
cue hillary duff's "coming clean."
others in full effect were melinda, eddie, katrina, demy, amy,
zach, cynthia, mike perez, angelica, jordan, and mike mang.
it was a good dinner with an impressive view.
a little pricey of course but it was worth it.
later on...we played a whole mess of games at
the huynh residence. a victory in outburst
awarded the guys with donuts courtesy of the girls.
that saved us a trip to donut man haha.

played basketball for the first time in months
and that felt great. i don't like missing out on it
every time i get calls or text.
after playing today...i'll make a better effort
to manage my time and fit playing in.
i also biked for the first time in years...
and now i want a bicycle more than ever haha.
ah...i miss recreational activities.
the closest i get to recreation nowadays are
the creative recreations i rock on my feet...sigh.

redemption is definitely in store for all aspects of my life.

-------------------------------------------

so here i am...i've arrived
at the end of july and finally
at the halfway mark of the nursing program
and the second half of summer.

i really have appreciated the memories, moments,
and experiences i've been blessed to have
in my spare time...how ever much that is.

it's going to be crazy and grueling
to have a module that's six weeks long...
we haven't had a class that long since
med-surg in march. we all got
very much comfortable in the fact
that we got breaks every 2-3 weeks.

august is going to be a very long month.
i'll be needing all the help i can get to make it through.
after all...it's in brokenness that one finds themselves alone
but the road to redemption is only traveled with good company.

just got to keep loving and hope to be loved.

good night...and happy birthday princess meagan!

"plans."

i didn't get to go camping this past weekend.
i can blame that all on my mom for keeping
me back because of school. it was a huge
disappointment for me but i'm coping with it.
instead...i went to d&b for senpai's birthday.
not bad for my first time there (finally).
also attended josh's birthday/grad party.
a very chill time with the homies...
the basketball tournament was entertaining.
went to mass and caught up with the camping crew.
afterwards...while the majority ate at chipotle
i had sushi with jp and my sis at maki yaki.
for the price...it's good stuff.
met up with the others to watch stepbrothers.
freakin' hillarious!
this is will ferrell and john c. reilly's comeback.
i haven't laughed so hard watching
a movie all year long...it was grrreat.
i'm glad this was how i finished the weekend.
i may not have gone camping but
i managed to chill with those that did
in the end...very appropriate.

tomorrow is my final.
and as always...
i'm more excited about
just getting over it so i can
enjoy the the small break i have ahead of me.
i don't have a break all august
and the next one starts september 9
so i'm going to make this one count.
i have to paint my pieces for the art show,
get my passport renewed,
finally wash my car, and
of course...catch up with friends.

i went from being invited to meagan's birthday dinner
to advising ashley on planning it to being the main planner.
and i was already content with going.
ashley is lucky the huynhs are royalty.
otherwise...i'd be more disgruntled haha.

alright...more focus on the final.
good night.

"wake up."

today was tougher than usual.
i was in the ER today at the hospital.
that really wasn't the challenge.
in fact...i had a great time on my unit.
i got in trouble with mrs. montes
because i overslept during my lunch break.
if it was anyone else oversleeping...she would understand.
but it's me and i've unfortunately built
a notoriety as the classroom sleeper.
she put me on blast for that and i deserve it.
i will do better for sure.
the thing that really got me was
not just her telling me i could be the
best-in-class but
i'm being lazy (which is true)...
it was her telling me i've changed.
i'm no longer the student she had
months ago when this all started....
the person with hope to share and
the grades to prove his passion and
love for nursing.
most of all, she no longer sees
the person who was inspired by
his cousin who became a nurse
and passed away.
ouch.
i don't think anyone has gotten
to me so deeply in awhile.
it was very true though.
i needed to hear that, especially as i arrive at
the halfway mark of this journey through the program.
i've allowed myself to become a guy
who's satisfied in knowing he can sleep
and be lazy and do good enough to make it through.
there's no getting back to where i used to be...
but i'll get back up and be
better than that student she knew awhile back.
i owe it to her for not giving up on me...
i owe it to myself because it's my life and it's
too beautiful to succumb to anything less...
and i owe it to paulo because
i have to stay true to my promise to him.

---------------------------------------

meshell ndegeocello - beautiful

do yourself a favor and listen to it
if you haven't already.

this song turned my day around.

so so so so...beautiful. haha...i suppose the name really does speak for itself.

"eye."

here's a summary...

friday:
surprised trina with kura sushi
then dark knight for her birthday gift.
taught her how to play
ultimate uno and she beat me
four times in a row...beginners luck haha.
the dark knight was amazing...
but you should know that by now.
and if you don't...do something about it.
honestly one of the best films of the decade
and most likely my life.

saturday:
pacific island dancers show @ citrus college.
donut man and in-n-out with brother bear.
good show...my friends were great.
much love to katrina, demy, angelica, melinda,
meagan, martin, and john lee!
i'm glad to go to donut man before
they stop making strawberry donuts
until next spring.
any night is a good night with donut man.

--------------------------------------

the past two weeks has definitely been the
"eye of the hurricane" for this summer.
if you don't understand that...
it means that this summer has been
quite adventurous and eventful for me
despite going to school but things
have been much more low-key recently.
while i've still been enjoying life and such...
i can't wait until "the storm" picks up again...
which should happen this weekend
with camping up in kern county!
kayaking/rafting, bbq, and hiking...
a nice break from the nursing school grind.
this will be my only summer vacation so
i'm definitely going to make the most of it.

-----------------------------------------

school is still the same...a beautiful struggle.
it's more of a struggle now,
especially with commuting to victorville
and hemet every now and then.
but...the more i learn and the more
things i do and experience...
the more i grow.
and growth is beautiful.

"desert rose."

try not to think about the sting song and the video aka. jaguar commerical...i dare you!

okay...the first day back to school and we got immediately rushed off to hemet for a clinical day instead. just to get everyone on the same page...hemet is next to san jacinto and near perris. it's about 20 minutes down the 79 from beaumont and the same time away from the 215. and yes...it's freakin' hot and the biggest thing around just so happens to be a walmart supercenter. i don't like the fact we have to drive so far to the desert just so we can get some experience. the place we went to is called manor care and it's a subacute/rehab center. it was actually very impressive...as big as a hospital in terms of beds, rooms, and patients. everyone was nice and they seemed happy to have us unlike some other places (extended care is pretty lame). i had a good time and the drive there was okay. it was driving back to san bernardino to pick up my dad since we carpooled that was unpleasant. by doing so...it took 2 hours to get home. eh...i got to make it through the fire so i'll deal.

g.i. is going to be a tough course. it's about 9 days long with only 1 full week of school. the homework and what not is the same amount as usual so that's what makes it challenging. i was well above passing musculoskeletal but i'm still disappointed that i didn't live up to my own expectations. for g.i...i'm going to ensure that i'll get my highest grade yet.

my friends are chillin' tonight and quite possibly watching the dark knight...but here i am stuck at home. so what did i do besides studying? i played the world i.q. challenge on facebook haha. mike told me about it awhile ago and i just go into it recently. he had the best score out of everyone he and i knew. but like i said...HAD. it took a whole lot of effort and frustration...but i manage to not only beat his score but get further than he did! yes! oh boy...i think a competition has just begun between my bowling sensei and i.

alright...i have nothing more to say and so much to do. and off i go to make it all happen.

"run to the sun."

i just recently found my n.e.r.d. "in search of" (which i think is their best album by far) while cleaning out my room and this song has been in heavy rotation in my mind.

after weeks of postponing due to scheduling conflicts and
other complications...i finally took ashley to p.f. changs.
she's never been so it was an interesting experience.
good convo as always and a good time as expected.

it's been a very interesting and random break for me.
apart from what's been posted already...
i went to downtown fullerton with angela last night.
normally...i would want to go with a crew or
at least more than two people but i wasn't
looking for some wild and crazy night...
just a chill time with an old friend.
yeah...perhaps that's why
i wasn't feeling the vibe as much
and what not but i just enjoyed the fact
that i was able to hang out with angela and vibe out.
because in the end...it's not what you do with someone
that defines a moment...it's simply just who you're with ya dig?

i didn't manage to go to morning mass like i planned to...
i blame that on staying up late and sleeping in.
however...i did visit the chapel every day.
it provided me with time to just calm myself down
and meditate on the spiritual side of life for awhile.
and as of this past monday...it's official:
i'll be teaching con2 again with ed noriega as my assistant.
same day...same time.
i'm glad to still be involved in some way with religious education
since i won't be so active with cross+training events
in the months leading to my graduation from concorde.

today was extremely chill...
all plans except for one were rescheduled.
the one plan?
that was lunch with kim and emma.
it was nice since i've never quite chilled with her...
always with a group including her
or at a gathering involving her but never her.
it really was great to focus more on a friend
and see them as they are better.
treated her and emma (who is adorable and cool!)
to cpk (where i ran into bianca and sergio working there).
it's funny that i haven't gone to cpk in like 10 years
and now i've gone there two times in the past week.
also had pinkberry...which was actually the first time
i've ever bought some for myself.
had it before but it was always
someone else's treat. random but go figure.
randomly saw cherisse walking her dog
(but i guess not for kim since they're neighbors).
went to lowes to finalize paint colors for my room
(yeah the project that's two years in the making)
and rented definitely, maybe from redbox
(where i ran into krystal...who i haven't seen in months).

hahaha...i'm loving the excessive use of parentheses.

anyways...definitely, maybe has got to be
the best romantic movie i've seen in a long time.
it was very profound at times and very fresh.
it just didn't look like some other romantic movies...
the ending was obviously happy but the
journey to get to the destination was
surprisingly creative and remarkable.
i recommend everyone to watch it...
lovers and love-haters alike.

got my ticket for the pacific island dancers show
this saturday. it took me forever and a half to
find meagan at the chino civic center...but it turns
out that she was at that community center across the street.
haha...finding her was harder than a lot of things
i do at the hospital. anyways...it's going to be very nostalgic.
i went to the show three years ago
with ray and marie bucoy.
it's a reminder of how things have changed.
i'm sad that marie won't be able to make it
(i haven't chilled with her since early last year)
but i'm happy to support the huynh royalty,
martin, katrina, demy, and the others i know.

i surprised my grandma tonight with a gift of diet pepsi and a card.
originally was going to get her and my tatay food but
this was more convenient and appropriate.
i just wanted to do something super nice for her apart
from the usual things i help my grandparents out with.
i'm glad and blessed and thankful to save such
amazing grandparents and i just wanted to affirm them
randomly tonight haha.

watched american history x
in its entirety finally a couple of hours ago.
(just like dirty dancing two days ago haha).
damn...edward norton in the film along with fight club
doesn't need anything else to prove
his worth as a good actor...this is all he needs.
such a good movie...so thought-provoking and real.
i seriously have been missing out on a good part of life
by not having completely watched this film before.
go watch it along with definitely, maybe!
talk about a difference in genres.

this school break wasn't as extravagant or crazy as the last one...
but it was still positively memorable and very rewarding.
i gained new insight on many things,
i worked on home projects i've set aside because of school,
i nurtured friendships both old and new,
and i granted myself the time and space
to relax and just reinvigorate myself for the next class.

once again i have to say that i may not have a summer vacation...
but i'm having a wonderful summa-summa-summertime!

hooray for all the "finally," "randomly," "for the first time," and "for the first time in the longest time" moments! hahahaha...good night y'all!

"press start."

i finally watched dirty dancing in its entirety...and it's so on point! i've seen the ending time and time again before and other clips of the film but to see it from start to finish really made it a great movie for me. it's quite appropriate...i knew the ending and i loved it but i now appreciate it more because of everything else that led up to it. it's good to discover such random life lessons.

after missing out on brother bear's birthday dinner...i got to eat at the yard house at the shoppes finally. i chilled with clarissa...a dinner that's weeks overdue. parmeasan crusted chicken with mushrooms was awesome. also...i got to bowl for the first time in months. i miss it. it's unfortunate i don't get to bowl as much anymore because of school but i'm glad to have made the most of this one opportunity to do so.

art show update: it's on sunday, august 10. st. paul courtyard.
job update: i'm dropping by the lowes hiring office tomorrow...i hope it all works out.

the new nas cd is out...and it's fire. if you love hip-hop...give it a listen and get your copy.
and while you're at it...santogold, radiohead, adele, and mark ronson. good summer music. wait...make that good music, period.

my break from school is not over yet...more to report on. signing off for now.

"(dim) summing it up."

musculoskeletal final tomorrow morning...a post the day before.

i don't recall a final recently being on a monday so i suppose this is the first in the longest time. one would think that i've spent the weekend studying hard and vigorously but that hasn't been exactly the case. i've been studying for sure but unlike last class...this one has been much easier and i feel confident going into the final that i know what i need to know. oh well...i'll find out if that's true come tomorrow at 7:30am.

the st. paul young adults art show is in about a month (i don't know the exact date right now but i'll be sure to plug it later) and i've finally come up with the idea and sketches for my art pieces. i don't want to give everything away...but i'll disclose the fact that it's three pieces inspired by star wars but in a very unique way. yeah...it's a little random and off-the-wall but that's just how i do. i've decided to dedicate this art project to paulo because these pieces truly express the man he was and how he lived his life. yesterday was actually the second anniversary of his death. our family had a party in honor of him at tita ella's house in the valley. it was a nice gathering of loved ones and it was a good time to remind myself of how much he meant to me and how much i really loved him.

for the first time i think this year...i had dim sum. oh man...i've been missing out all year long for sure. i went with my family for lunch...which is something we haven't done in years and was something we would do on a usual basis. the long wait, the noisy crowd, the servers running about, the delicious food...i missed this haha.

i have another 2.5 days break this week. a lot of the homies are up in the bay but that won't stop the good times from happening down here. i only hope to make the most of this break once more and just relax and be adventurous. after this...i only have two more breaks left in the summer and they're both during the week. what a bust...i was hoping to get at least one 3 or 4-day weekend aside from labor day weekend. speaking of which...my race profile is up on nike+ so if you or anyone you know can please donate some love (in the form of money. don't get started on the whole "love don't cost a thing")...holla at the site!

alright...back to the grind.
well actually...i'm going out to dinner.
and THEN i'll be back to the grind haha.

good night!

"bound for glory."

so i'm browsing through facebook attempting to get in touch with my classmates from ayala. as i'm searching through familiar faces and old memories...i realize that about 80% of the people i see have gone to uc berkeley, ucla, usc, ucsb, ucsc, claremont colleges, byu, uci, ucsd, scripps, and the list goes on. all these great universities and colleges. and here i am with chaffey college, fullerton college, mt. sac, and now concorde. not prestigious or amazing at all. this was a blunt and very severe reminder of my inaction and lack of passion and academic accomplishment over the past four years. almost everyone that went to college from my year has graduated. one of them went to chaffey with me and now he's graduating from berkeley. another one is graduating from usc and he has a picture up of him sitting in front of a fountain with people in the water partying and dancing. and there he is dressed in a suit with arms wide open and smiling with a drink in hand like he's living the good life. actually...he is living it. as for me...i'm halfway through a vocational nursing program without any degree and with a half-hearted college career. do i love my life? no doubt about it. it's just that i could have been like my classmates who are about to start their careers and the next chapter in their live. alas...i'm still on the brink of the next big thing, in suspension. i've done a lot of good things over the past four years in college. i don't regret anything...it's been a wild ride with much suffering but much joy and love. but now it really is time to get down to business. i need to catch up. although i'm already late, i'm going to finish and finish strong. in the end...i know my college career isn't like my peers but it's going to be one heck of a good story...and it will be a long one worth noting for sure. right now...the complacent career student finally learns the lesson.

"f.a.m.i.l.y."

i still remember that dinner at denny's after a crosstrainer meeting where pat, fred, dennis, christian, and i first conceived the ACE concept. it flourished during the october retreat. and yeah...it became more than a concept. it became the ace family. with james, tiff, bobby, jen, clarissa, ana, nick, betty, mike, russell, maddie, matt, katrina, and so forth...ACE expanded. over the years...people have come and gone but there was a family still standing strong and resolute. now...ACE has become more of a memory than anything else. awhile ago...i was watching sytcd and saw the mia michaels piece that katee (who is so #$^*#% beautiful) and joshua did to adele's "hometown glory." other than the fact that the dance was absolutely amazing and clearly one of the best i've ever seen...it inspired me to remember the yesteryears of ACE. no matter what it originally was or meant...ACE ultimately became one of the greatest manifestations of love in my life. it was and still is. we've all changed...some for the better and some for the worse. some of us have moved on...the rest of us manage to stay together. we're a family with walls...with gaps...with flaws we can't seem to overcome. i don't know about everyone else...but i can't let this go. ACE is not dead. i thought it was but i realized that over time ACE became LOVE and that doesn't die. yeah...we all haven't lived up to the name/meaning then like we should but that doesn't mean we don't still have a chance to make something good happen...to start again or get back what was lost. i'm going to do what i can to bring ACE back. i know it won't be easy and it will take some miracles and grace. it's going to take time and a lot of action but i'm going to "show that we ain’t gonna stand shit. show that we are united. show that we ain’t gonna take it. round my hometown, memories are fresh. round my hometown, oh the people i’ve met are the wonders of my world."

"significant."

everyone has their daily essentials and the things they can't do without. these are mine:

1) jack black lip balm (and blistex lip infusion). a lip balm designed just for men but i know a grip of women that use this. it's that good. green tea + vitamins + shea butter + peppermint oil + avocado oil = lip therapy. and if i don't have it on me...i'm bound to have my other choice, blistex. it's important to protect your lips...and lip balm also enhances any chance encounters that involve kissing.
2) canon sd850is. i live for cinematic moments. and if i can't capture such moments through video...i'm down to settle for pictures. yeah...slrs and what not are much better and i would like to have one...but my camera is small and powerful enough to keep up with my adventures. and paired up with my 4gb card...i can take literally hundreds of photos without worrying about running out of space.
3) lg vx8600. in this day and age...a cellphone has become a must. my phone right now for me is a like/dislike relationship. great call quality, convenient size, and sleek looks but lousy speaker phone, fragile charger connection, and poor tactile buttons. i need internet connection on a phone now more than ever since i can only access a computer early in the morning and late in the evening. and as one of my summer goals prescribe (see past entries)...it's time for an upgrade (lg dare).
4) rosary scapular. i got my first one from fred when he went to the philippines. i gave it to rachelle as a memento of loved ones she has here before she flew back to the philippines to stay there until she finishes nursing. i got another one from my mom...which bianca still has from retreat. i don't feel the same without it and i love to wear it wherever i go. i haven't worn one in weeks...so i either have to get mine back from bianca or get a new one...perhaps one i can attach a miraculous medal of mary to. that would be great.
5) yves saint laurent l'homme/victoria secret very sexy for men/versace eau fraiche/viktor and rolf antidote/l'eau par kenzo for men. yeah...i have "a lot" of colognes. but trust me...it's not too much. my dad raised me on the old-school gentleman swagger of having cologne. use one that compliments you and use it lightly...and you'll get a good and heavy effect (heavy like how marty mcfly says is in back to the future). each one of these scents bring about a reflection of who i am (and obviously what i like to smell like). different scents for different events/experiences/moods/times. c'mon now...no one would use 5 colognes at the same time...that would be very much busted.
6) listerine breath strips (and eclipse polar ice gum). i've made sure to have these on me whenever i go out for about 6 years now. the best way to get rid of bad breath on the run. eclipse gum is something i don't always have...probably because i like it so much i run out of them easily. they've been my gum of choice since i bought them to use for my first prom. a gum like this comes handy in taking someone's (bad) breath away.
7) vitamins. a tradition since childhood that will go on and on. no day feels the same mentally and physically without them. legitimately essential to my life. i've come a long way from those flintstones chewables and centrum for kids stuff.
8) aveeno face wash/scrub + boots quick thinking wipes. aveeno got the pureness on lock. i believe that the more natural ingredients and less chemicals...the better the product. exfoliation is good once a week...so my mom tells me and i've abided by that advice for years now. if i'm on the go...quick thinking wipes do the trick.
9) jack black oily skin defense lotion. let's make it simple. i have oily skin...and this lotion solves my problem. the end.
10) tumi wallet. it was a dream of mine since i was a kid to have a nice wallet. tumi always stood out to me as a brand that made durable and quality goods. after all...they were the clintons' choice for luggage and gear. mine is made mostly out of ballistic nylon...so it's durable and water-resistant. it's also slim enough that i can carry about as much as a card case can (which i previously used) and still not look like a tumor on my leg when i take it around.

"i plead the fourth!"

by the way...the fourth amendment guards
against unreasonable seizures and searches.
basically...you need a warrant and
our good ol' friend, mr. probable cause.

anyways...yesterday was the most chill
fourth of july that i can remember.
i got to sleep in and get the right amount of hours
i need as supposed to the four to five i usually get.
bbq with my parents during the day then
a bbq with the homies during
the night at brother bear's house.
good food, good drinks, good people,
good volleyball, good swimming...grrrreat fireworks haha.
it was an awesome way to celebrate our nation's
declaration of independence. yeeeeee-hawwwww!

summer has seriously been good to me thus far
and i'm definitely lovin' it.
but this just can't be summer love...you'll see.

"all is full of love."

first and foremost...check out bjork. her song/video is crazy good.

driving to victor valley community hospital
was not as bad as i thought it would be.
with good driving conditions...
i can get there in an hour or so as proven by today's trip.
it's around 60 miles one-way
and the hospital is in the
middle of old town victorville...
which is nothing like old town pasadena.
we're way into the desert so it's freakin' hot.
apart from all this...the day was quite chill.
the first day on the units will be monday...
so aside from being in victorville by 6:50am,
i'm going to be excited.
but then again...i'll be going to victorville
on tuesday and wednesday too.
ouch.

tonight...i bought kanye west's new book.
entitled "thank you and you're welcome,"
it features his perspectives, quotes, and lessons
laced with humor and irony.
this purchase led me to remembering
that he's performing at nike's human race
at the end of august in la.
that being said...
i have just registered to join the race.
i'll be running to support the
united nations' refugee agency.
it's a 10k race which is something
i've never done before.
simply said...
i'll be pushing my body
harder than ever before
for a good cause with a good show at the finish line.
i'll be making a race profile in the near future
so people can support me by donating
to the refugee agency.

for now...visit http://www.ninemillion.org/ and http://www.nikeplus.nike.com/
for more information on donating and the human race.

i just found out pat and christian are
planning to try out for american idol in san francisco
and there's a bay area trip planned for it as well.
is good as this all sounds...i can't go because
i would be missing schoool for a week
which is the equivalent of academic suicide.
what a bust...a bay area trip
is on the cusp of being actualized
and i won't be a part of it.

moving on to more positive things...

i was able to finally eat at the panera bread
at the shoppes today with betty,
which is also something i was able
to finally do since i've never really
chilled one-on-one with her.
we also went to barnes and noble where i bought her
the kite runner in hopes to encourage
her to read more fiction and she bought me cunt to
expand my knowledge in women's studies.
i think the transaction worked out beautifully.

tonight was myrna velasco's viewing.
i wanted to go since i couldn't attend the funeral
due to school obligations.
she was a truly remarkable woman that
is a great example of faith, hope, love, and passion to us all.
i didn't know her as well as most did...
but she inspired me as much as everyone else.
my moments with her were unique and special.
please pray for her soul and for her family.

that's all for now.
have a great and safe
fourth of july weekend.

"acuteness."

i narrowly passed cardiovascular by 2%.
i won't be lazy about homework again.
going to victor valley hospital for clinicals tomorrow...
it's going to be a drag of a drive.
i'm not looking forward to making that commute
a couple a times a week for months to come.
however...it's an acute care hospital which means
there's going to be a lot more action and
a lot more to learn and do other than
the usual CNA stuff.
i hope that makes the drive worthwhile.

got out of school two hours early...which was good news.
the bad news was i had to still wait for dad since
we carpooled. i spent three hours finding things to do
all over san bernardino. you won't be surprised to know
there's not much to do. it's quite ghetto and barren.
i still can't believe i go to school here...
but i suppose i got to suffer before i thrive.

so the burden of not having a job is now upon me.
my funds are quite low and i finally was able to establish a budget
until the end of august. bills to pay. a camping trip to fund.
possibly buying a ticket for rock the bells.
july is going to be a financially tough month.
once august comes things will be okay but until then...
it's going to be baller on a tight budget status.
oh...i hope my financially future is brighter than the present.

turned in my returning application for crosstraining.
it's going to be a very different year for me.
i won't be as active as i usually am and
i won't be around as much as i would like.
this year will be all about being a crosstrainer
without retreats...far from home and st. paul.
it will be tough but i know it will also be very rewarding.

alright alright...i need to sleep.
the trip to victorville demands that i rest well
because i will defnitely not enjoy the drive there.

bon mot!