"what it is right now."

so far gone.

i concur with the masses...mixtape of the year.

bones.

i just got into this show recently...and now i realize i have been seriously missing out on something great. clever scripts, intriguing twists, great cast and chemistry...tv continues its efforts to keep me from leaving house.

and speaking of which...

house.

next to grey's anatomy...this is the best medical drama on tv. outstanding performances and plots. hugh laurie is ingenious. the characters and the struggles they are defined by are genuinely inspiring. however, it seems that every diagnosis has to dabble with lupus haha. i stop everything to watch this show whenever it comes on, not to mention that i'm crushing on...

olivia wilde.

there is life after the oc. she definitely lives up to the saying "an ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance." a talented and smart actress without a doubt, she also happens to be my inspiration when i work out, along with...

megan fox.

news flash! i think she's hot...just like almost every guy does. that's all i have to say about that.

us soccer.

i love soccer...i've been a fan since elementary school. i love the united states of america...so much i became a citizen. us soccer? i'm a supporter but the team has endured years of embarassing play...at the olympics, in exhibition, in fifa tournaments. those losses left me without a belief in them. but now...after whomping on spain and going head-to-head with brazil in this past confederations cup, i'm starting to believe again that a nation where football isn't soccer and is considered a second-rate sport can show the rest of the world that we can play the beautiful game as well as they can. ole, ole, ole, ole!

michelle williams.

the gospel girl breaks out. the least popular child of destiny comes

out with some fire on this song...definitely digable.

mosun.

my friends and i come here only once in a while because it's just that special. great environment, great location, great sushi specials, and the some of the best fusion sushi rolls. worth the drive every time and i never fail to have a good time here. apparently leanne rhimes and eddie cibrian agree hehehe.

alexa chung.

on point across the pond...and even better stateside. it's on with alexa chung! is the reason why i go home for my lunch breaks whenever possible. artistic, witty, stylish,

socially and politically aware, and oh so sweet. if you can't tell by now...i'm in love.

2010 volkswagen gti.

eventually, my time with my corolla will come to an end. as much as i appreciate the car...it is still not as durable or safe as i would like my automobiles to be. faulty power locks and a weak engine are things that don't help me drive with a greater peace of mind for sure. i need something faster, more practical, more convenient, more dependable, and safer. this is where this small wonder comes into picture. german engineering with the quality to go along with it, affordable, and suits me quite well. das auto indeed.

signing out - jl

"euphoria."

...and it's true!

you make me feel alive.

here's to exploring the beauty of life - jl

"HIStory is forever."

rest in peace michael jackson.



you're the one who taught me what pop (and music) is all about...introduced me to dancing and helped me to find my rhythm. i wouldn't be the same without you. i'm still in shock about your passing and i'm incredibly sad because i had a lot of love for you and all the good music you've provided the world with. may angels lead you in, king of pop.

in your honor...mj, this one's for you!






never can say goodbye - jl

"taking it easy."

this past week of school has been overall...unnecessary. don't get me wrong, i've learned a couple of new things at the corona clinic i'm interning at but the days just seem to drag on since i already passed my exit exam and there's not really much work to do anymore. i would be preparing for my community nursing final next wednesday, but it's open book. there's really no more challenges standing in my way of graduation. while it does feel good and i'm experiencing a peace of mind that is utterly cherishable...i wish my class could just have the days until july 7 off to reflect and recover. oh well, i guess that's what the rest of summer is for.

the most fortunate aspect of my current situation is that i have more time after school to unwind and chill since there's nothing to study for. and so...venturing from corona or san bernardino, i've found myself eating at yojie's with the ace family in cerritos, catching up with jenny over some long overdue panera bread, and gallivanting through melrose and eating at dolce with jen (which by the way is very much overrated...it's no wonder why they're closing down. at least everything was 50% off and i got to see what the hype was about). this is just a taste of what's to come for me this summer and i'm getting more and more excited for it. i have all summer long to catch up with friends and engage this beautiful life with more adventures. it reminds me of that sleepy brown song...




i can't wait, can't wait! - jl

"triumphant."

the past 72 hours or so have been very turbulent. i went to disneyland twice, enjoyed the awesomeness that is claws, and visited starbucks butterfield & pine on its closing day...farewell best workplace thus far. while these are all good moments...the definite highlight is that i passed my exit exam! this was the last huge obstacle on the way to graduating from concorde. i've been stressed all week because of it. the test was scheduled for thursday morning. i spent all wednesday night studying like crazy for it and 1,908 itunes songs later...i arrived at school only to find out that it was postponed to friday morning due to distracting noises from construction work. it turned out to be a blessing as i had more time to put myself at ease and rock it on the exam. passing the ERI affirms my confidence in becoming a nurse and has definitely proven that the past 18 months of school, with all its sacrifices, struggles, and failures, have been worth it. i can now look forward to graduating on july 7 without any more substantial complications. i am truly living a blessed life!

feeling like kobe right about now - jl

"beauty in the breakdown."

graduation season is a difficult time for me. for the past two years or so...i've been a witness to my friends moving on from college and onto bigger and better things. as for me, i'm still trying to get out of the mess i made out of my college life. the second and third year of college was a complete and utter disaster...i dug a hole that kept getting deeper and i couldn't find a way out of it. i'm more than fortunate and blessed to have loved ones who support me and are helping me find my way back to redemption and success. graduations right now are a reminder of my disappointment, but at the same time i'm inspired by my friends and i'm overjoyed for their truly epic achievement. it is during these moments that i just need to keep working hard and realize that my time to shine will eventually come.

i'm most likely going to get my bachelor's in 8 years...and i don't give a f@#% about what people say. i know i was a college dropout. i know that i failed time and time again...but that was then and this is now. i'm a better, smarter, stronger person because of what i've endured. i took my education, passion, and intelligence for granted...never again will that happen. people can criticize the road i'm taking to earn success, but they can't take away from my lessons learned, the strong bonds i made, and the character i've built up to get to this point in life.

this weekend alone has been tough. people may not notice, but i've constantly been close to the point of tears because of the degree of stress and pressure i'm under. i have my pediatrics final on tuesday morning and my super crucial exit exam on thursday. the former will determine if i get an A in maternal/child health...the latter will decide if july 7 is going to be a reality for me. however, i've found the courage, strong will, and hope to break through my challenges. i got confession at St. Denis and studied with rach, i went to tiff's graduation and celebrated at coconut bay, and my sister came home today to have lunch. it was a definite highlight of the year and pick-me-up to have a meal with the complete family. she also told me that she can attend my graduation! that alone gave me the strength to hold my head up a little higher.

to make everything so much more awesome...





the los angeles lakers are the 2009 nba world champions. amazing happens in la all day.

i don't know how this week is going to turn out for sure. i do know this week will be a tough week...but i'm much tougher.



if kobe can redeem himself and win again...then i can get through this week and redeem myself.


victory or bust - jl

"survival of the fittest."

the past 24 hours have been rough and challenging. aside from the commute to victorville and back and being in a very slow postpartum department for 5 hours, i took a nclex practice exam for child health last night that took me about 6 hours to complete...all 364 questions. i have a project due in 2 hours that i still need to start on (my teacher sure knows how to push my class' buttons) and i have an exam this morning to go along with it. to round it all off...i only got 3 or so hours of sleep and i've been running on a blend of capri sun and coca-cola to get me by.

i already knew this was going to be the hardest two weeks of the year but damn...i didn't think i'd be missing my sleep this much or have so much work to deal with. if i can make it to the end of this day and ultimately get to the weekend completing all the things that needs to be done...i'll be assured more than ever that i got what it takes to be a nurse and graduate.

bringing it on (and trying not to fall asleep) - jl

"coming clean."

getting a haircut has time and time again proven to be a great way to reset myself. i think a lot of people can agree. seeing and feeling centimeters and inches of hair get snipped away not only takes weight off your head, but your mind as well. i got a trim about 30 minutes ago and i already feel better than i did beforehand.

i had ichikawa and lucille's bbq with my parents for dinner the past couple of nights. great times indeed. i'm happy to say that something out of 2009 i can cherish is how i'm spending more time again with my parents. for the past couple of years, i chose to make sharing a meal with my parents a scarce occurrence in response to my desire to live a more social life. silly of me then, but now i've come to realize it all starts with family. i've got the rest of my life to cherish my social life and anyone else that comes into my life, but for now...i'll enjoy my moments with my parents while i still can.

i watched the hangover with dub, mike b, and arthur last night...amazingly hillarious movie, the best i've seen since stepbrothers and i love you, man. 2 hours or so of the greatest laughs ever produced. this has definitely become one of my favorite comedies. if you haven't watched it...you need to. it's good for the soul.

since the beginning of may, i've been discerning medical school. i've dreamed of being a physician ever since i was a kid. i even had a a shirt saying in tagalog "when i grow i'm going to be a doctor." i wanted to practice internal medicine like my dad. alas, i grew up and through life experiences decided on becoming a nurse instead. oddly enough...it is in my clinicals to be a nurse that i have rekindled my desire to be a doctor. there's a lot of sacrifice (financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) to be made if i'm to pursue this dream. the fact that i'll be in my mid 30's when i finish my residency is a daunting. and i still love nursing and will always love it. i could live the rest of my life overjoyed being a nurse. oh well...i've got a long way to discern and plenty of time to make a choice.

either way...it's going to be dr. john chuatuan, d.n.p. or dr. john lendl chuatuan, m.d.

providing healthcare until death - jl

"this is the real thing."

a month away now from graduation and almost done with maternal/child health, i find myself in a funk...and not the george clinton kind of funk. in the past week, i got a 77% on the first half of my final and a 76% on a peds test. in the class, i have a 84%...my lowest grade since january. perhaps it's the fact that i'm so close to graduating that i've slipped up a bit. maybe it's because i know i'm going to pass that i'm getting a little overconfident. whatever the reason is, i need to step it up...now is not the time to fall. i have three more exams this coming week and i take the second half of the final on june 16. to make things more stressful...i take the exit exam, aka. the final obstacle before graduation, on june 18.

ah...june gloom never felt so exact.

however, i've come too damn far to not excel now. seriously, i used to be a year or so away from graduation. it's become a month and soon it will be days away from july 7. this is not the time to back down from adversity. it's only fitting that the lakers are in the finals right now against the magic. i'm in my own kind of finals...i need to win and come out a champion. my time is here, my time is now. i can still get an A in maternal/child health...and i will pass that exit exam.

one of the many things i've learned during my time in nursing school is that
if you can't accept it...CHANGE it.

any time is the right time to make a difference and make something good happen.

changing things up - jl