Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"wake up."

today was tougher than usual.
i was in the ER today at the hospital.
that really wasn't the challenge.
in fact...i had a great time on my unit.
i got in trouble with mrs. montes
because i overslept during my lunch break.
if it was anyone else oversleeping...she would understand.
but it's me and i've unfortunately built
a notoriety as the classroom sleeper.
she put me on blast for that and i deserve it.
i will do better for sure.
the thing that really got me was
not just her telling me i could be the
best-in-class but
i'm being lazy (which is true)...
it was her telling me i've changed.
i'm no longer the student she had
months ago when this all started....
the person with hope to share and
the grades to prove his passion and
love for nursing.
most of all, she no longer sees
the person who was inspired by
his cousin who became a nurse
and passed away.
ouch.
i don't think anyone has gotten
to me so deeply in awhile.
it was very true though.
i needed to hear that, especially as i arrive at
the halfway mark of this journey through the program.
i've allowed myself to become a guy
who's satisfied in knowing he can sleep
and be lazy and do good enough to make it through.
there's no getting back to where i used to be...
but i'll get back up and be
better than that student she knew awhile back.
i owe it to her for not giving up on me...
i owe it to myself because it's my life and it's
too beautiful to succumb to anything less...
and i owe it to paulo because
i have to stay true to my promise to him.

---------------------------------------

meshell ndegeocello - beautiful

do yourself a favor and listen to it
if you haven't already.

this song turned my day around.

so so so so...beautiful. haha...i suppose the name really does speak for itself.

No comments: