"eve."

in the midst of an all-nighter i find time to reflect. it's unusual for me to sleep past midnight/1pm anymore which used to be normal when the year started. it's even more unusual that i'm attempting to pull off an all-nighter in order to do all the homework i need to do before retreat. speaking of which...the retreat has finally arrived. i'm happy to be going but my joy comes with a price. as some already know...i won't be around the ministry as much as possible until i finish the school year in 2009. it's a huge sacrifice. is it my choice? of courst not...it's my the decision of my parents. that being said...i need to honor their wishes. i've invested the best years of my life into this ministry and i've grown so much from it. i wouldn't be the person i am today without this ministry...without the graces and blessings i've been thankful to receive from it. this weekend may very well be the last retreat i do for a long time. who knows? i could be back in three weeks for the may retreat. i may do a few retreats in the upcoming season. whatever is the case...my status is clear when it comes to retreats: for now...every retreat will literally feel like the last retreat i go on. i remember jun telling me back in the day to go into every retreat with that very same mentality...but it's for real this time. it's not just words of encouragement...it's my situation. all honesty...my parents did not want me to go but certain things have forced the decision out of their control. they call it luck...i know it's a prayer answered. yes...they're upset that i'm going but they'll see that it's time away we both need. and now...all there is left between the retreat and me is 8 hours of school...complete with two exams, one quiz, and hours of lecture. no one said it was easy. the hustle never stops...so i go to keep rocking. have a grrrrrreat weekend...i'll see y'all on the other side.