"day by day."

i'm listening to the rent soundtrack right now and i wanted to share what i feel is the most substantial lesson i've learned from rent. yes...there is the positive tolerance of homosexuality and increased hiv/aids awareness but this lesson comes from the very verses of one of the songs sung by rosario dawson (and the supporting cast as the song goes on):

"there's only yes.
there's only this.
forget regret
or life is yours to miss.
no other road.
no other way.
no day but today.
there's only yes.
only this life.
we must let go
to know what's right.
no other course.
no other way.
no day but today.
i can control my destiny.
i trust my soul.
my only goal is just to be.
there's only now
there's only here...
we live to love
or live in fear
no other path
no other way
no day but today."

no wonder why "no day but today" was promoted above any other topic in rent. no matter what...we have to realize that a lifetime needs to be measured in something more critical than years. a lifetime is different for everyone. it can be 100 years for one (like a patient i saw in the hospital earlier this week) but it can also be minutes for another (like a baby dying of respiratory problems). the only thing that we can't change about life is our inevitable demise. but that's where an abudance of hope lies. we control everything else with faith and grace intact. we can make that finish spectacular and positive. we can make everything that comes beforehand utterly brilliant. our lives...every single day we live...carries the potential and opportunity to make a difference for the better. love like no other. take risks and fall only to keep going strong. but don't live with the mentality that we should party and go all out for tomorrow isn't guaranteed. rather...live to the fullest so that every day carries more and more hope for continuing on. ah...what wonder we can get from musicals. first enchanted and now rent haha.

in recent news...i finally cleaned out my ears with the ear wax candle. no...it's not made of ear wax. it's made of beeswax. it takes ear wax out of the ear someone through heat. meagan and i used it on each other and it was an interesting experience. i thought i cleaned my ears well everyday and that i didn't have that much ear wax. but damn...i was proven wrong. it was digusting to see all the wax buildup that was in my ears but it was also cool to see how well the candle worked and i felt much cleaner afterwards. i can also hear better now haha.

it came out of nowhere...but the con1 retreat is next weekend. i'll be teaming up with the easter banger himself...ray amador. we've never facilitated together so it's going to be interesting and awesome. i don't know what to really expect with this upcoming retreat but i know it's going to be a good weekend and it's something i need. even if i'm going to be there for the retreatants...i can't help but want to get something out of this retreat for myself. a retreat from the stress of parents, school, and work. i don't have to care about the time...only the people i'm with and the moments i have to spend with them. i can't wait.

God works in mysterious ways. on good friday...i started a novena with my parents and never finished it. according to my mom, it's not good to not finish a novena. in one way or another...i learned that lesson the hard way recently and it feels like i'm being given another chance with the new novena i've started with the rest of the crosstrainers. i plan to finish what i've started this time around.

i would love to continue but unlike r. kelly...my mind and body are both telling me no.
good night and much love. stay classy world.