"beauty in the breakdown."

graduation season is a difficult time for me. for the past two years or so...i've been a witness to my friends moving on from college and onto bigger and better things. as for me, i'm still trying to get out of the mess i made out of my college life. the second and third year of college was a complete and utter disaster...i dug a hole that kept getting deeper and i couldn't find a way out of it. i'm more than fortunate and blessed to have loved ones who support me and are helping me find my way back to redemption and success. graduations right now are a reminder of my disappointment, but at the same time i'm inspired by my friends and i'm overjoyed for their truly epic achievement. it is during these moments that i just need to keep working hard and realize that my time to shine will eventually come.

i'm most likely going to get my bachelor's in 8 years...and i don't give a f@#% about what people say. i know i was a college dropout. i know that i failed time and time again...but that was then and this is now. i'm a better, smarter, stronger person because of what i've endured. i took my education, passion, and intelligence for granted...never again will that happen. people can criticize the road i'm taking to earn success, but they can't take away from my lessons learned, the strong bonds i made, and the character i've built up to get to this point in life.

this weekend alone has been tough. people may not notice, but i've constantly been close to the point of tears because of the degree of stress and pressure i'm under. i have my pediatrics final on tuesday morning and my super crucial exit exam on thursday. the former will determine if i get an A in maternal/child health...the latter will decide if july 7 is going to be a reality for me. however, i've found the courage, strong will, and hope to break through my challenges. i got confession at St. Denis and studied with rach, i went to tiff's graduation and celebrated at coconut bay, and my sister came home today to have lunch. it was a definite highlight of the year and pick-me-up to have a meal with the complete family. she also told me that she can attend my graduation! that alone gave me the strength to hold my head up a little higher.

to make everything so much more awesome...





the los angeles lakers are the 2009 nba world champions. amazing happens in la all day.

i don't know how this week is going to turn out for sure. i do know this week will be a tough week...but i'm much tougher.



if kobe can redeem himself and win again...then i can get through this week and redeem myself.


victory or bust - jl