"rehab."

on 11/9/2009, i will be

starting RN school at west coast university.

so much has already happened this year...

and as quick as it is going, there's still

so much that will happen before 2010 arrives.

i'm especially concerned with the next

two or so months before school begins again for me.

last year i was in a similar position.

i had two or so months before i went

back to school. as i am now...i don't have

a job and whatever money comes my way

is hard to hold on to.

i find it a struggle to fill my days with

content that makes me feel productive

with how i'm living my life out.

the main difference aside

from being in a much more positive

situation is that the next two months

of vacation this time around

were born out of my success and not my failure.

as it stands...september and october will be

spent rediscovering who i am.

i got so caught up with all the action this year

that i lost myself in the mix and

i denied it with a smile and a sense of hope.

a false hope...or rather an incomplete hope.

truth is, i'm not completely happy

with who i am right now.

i'm blessed and thankful to have

amazing family and friends, means

of sustenance, my possessions, luxuries,

and the gift of life itself.

however, i'm not totally alright with

myself and that has affected

everything i'm passionate for...

what i've mentioned already and then some.

i thought keeping to myself

this past weekend would help

make things better,

but i believe God is telling me i need

more time to heal, repair, etc.

i'm moving at the speed of life.

my answers, my cure, my hope will

come to me at same speed as well.

i just gotta keep moving along and

working on myself.

pray for me...

because this fall is looking to be

challenging, successful, tiring, interesting,

legen...wait for it...

dary! - jl

p.s. i'm slowly transitioning to a tumblr account...stay tuned for details.